Wednesday, September 9, 2009

55 Fiction: The Promise

Here's the second lethal errr.....little dose of the promised 55 Fiction.

Title: The Promise
He felt life slipping out of his own body as he saw his son dying. He wasn’t able to get money for operation.
Seeing Tarachand at the door, he was relived.

Now, it was his turn to keep his word.
He wiped a silent tear as he asked his only daughter to leave with Tarachand.  

48 comments:

Shruti said...

Hey shas!
you wrote it damn well..
but every single 55fiction you write must have a heading!

Coming to the story!
ahhh!! How can a dad be like this?! Partiality eh?! Money makes people forget morals!!

Neatly written!!

Shruti said...

Am following you and also blog-rolling you!!

Shas said...

@ Shruti,
Thanks for the compliment. The title of the post is there in the heading itself. Anyways now i have put it jus above the post.

Needs and poverty at times does drive people to digress morally in order to survive.

Thanks for following and blogrolling me.

Guria said...

Got to know you from Shruti!
I just wrote my first 55-fiction!
I really like yours better! :P
Didn't see the end coming, good job!! :)

And the first one too...

“we’re sorry ma’m, the report had got exchanged.”

Good ones! :)

cheers ^_^

Shas said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Singh Amit said...

A touching and poignant 55 fiction..

Cheers!!

Shas said...

@ Amit,
Thank you!!! =)

HaRy!! said...

oh yu all seem to hit sixes of the first ball in the 55 fiction!:) how i wish i cud do one..but end up blah blah blah!, cya around as well..

HaRy

Yellow Tulip said...

interesting and very nicely done story dear:)

Shashank Shekhar said...

The father and the daughter... good picturisation... Liked it a lot :)

Shas said...

@ Harry,
This is my 2nd attempt at 55 fiction.
I love to read your blah...blah... =)

Shas said...

@ Shashank Shekhar,
Thanks!!! =)

Sid 'Ravan' Kabe said...

ok...call me dumb...but i did not understand...:o who is tarachand??

Sid 'Ravan' Kabe said...

ok ok...understand...tx shruti...

Oh my God...can't imagine it...uk...

nicely written excellently conveyed...

Shas said...

@ Sid,
hi hi!..
Am a bit dumbstruck.....wondering whether the comment is for me or for shruti. Have you got the answer to your question?

Shas said...

@ Guriya,
Welcome n Thanks! for reading both my 55s and visiting my blog.

I read your latest post. I liked it. I wanted to comment but couldn't complete the word verification as it wasn't displayed completely. Can you opt for the pop-out window comment box or remove the word verification.

sm said...

nice fiction

Shas said...

@ s m,
Thanks!!!

Shas said...

@ Yellow Tulip,
Thanks!!

Paritosh said...

Hmmmm... a thought provoking story.

Swatantra said...

That's beautiful!!

Shas said...

@ Paritosh,
Thanks!!

Shas said...

@ Swatantra,
Thanks!!

Vrij said...

Thanks for visiting my blog.

I'm quite amazed at how a lot of bloggers can convey so much in just 55 words. Seriously, I've tried very unsuccessfully!

Lakshmi Rajan said...

Ok I know I had a long day today :S am not able to unknot the knot

Shas said...

@ Vrij,
Welcome to my blogospace. Try try till you succeed. =)

Shas said...

@ Lakshmi Rajan,
There is always another day to come back, pause, stare, ponder and pen your thoughts as you undo the knotted thread of thoughts in your mind.

Shruti said...

hey shas
Check out my new 55F

R S V said...

'poignant' is the word..as Amit said...
and I add beautiful....the way of presentation not the incident...I hate it someone does it...

and I am sorry for the late comment..
I was a bit...busy.

Being Pramoda... said...

Hi Shas...

Very nice blog and template u have..

This 55 fic is very nicely done. And congratulations for the awards. Your Fagged post is quite interesting..

And thanks for dropping by..otherwise i would have missed ur blog.. i will keep visiting ur place..Thank You fr the post.

Harish said...

Nice attempt at the now-famed 55 Fic!
Short and powerful..

Shas said...

@ Shruti,
Sure.

@ R S V,
Its ok u don't hav to be sorry. "Der aaye durust aaye". Am happy to know that u spared your precious time to comment on my post.

Shas said...

@ Being Pramoda,
Thanks for visiting my blog. Nice to see u here. I hope you keep coming back.
=)

Shas said...

@ Harish,
Thanks!!!

Shas said...

@ Harish,
Thanks!!!

Makk said...

Its good one


I must say ....the day met you...and now...your writing has become double edges sword..

Keep shining!!

Vaishnav.Kasi said...

Hey shas
Each and every word you dealt there is great and especially your way of expressing the situation is d main part i liked.looking 4 more :)

Shas said...

@ Makk,
Thanks!! for your compliment.

Shas said...

@ Vaishnav Kashi,
Thanks! for coming here. Hope am able to live up to your expectations.
=)

Indian Pundit said...

Hey Shas

Great one.

Cheers

Shas said...

@ India Pundit,
Thanks!!

Rashmi said...

Good one!

Shas said...

@ Rashmi
Thanks!!

UL said...

i hate to think of such vulnerability, i cant imagine being in the shoes of a parent who cannot protect his/her own child...I would die first before that happens...but it is reality is it not...no wonder I hate to face reality at times...nicely put.

Shas said...

@ UL,
Life's like that its harsh. At times i wonder do poor people have a choice in life though we may say emphatically that everybody has a choice.

divsi said...

oh my....dats a lil hurtful...he shudve let his son die..grrrrr

Shas said...

@ Divsi,
Hmmm......difficult for a father or a parent to see his child die in front of his eyes but this doesn't mean that i support his idea of selling his daughter.

AS said...

gawd! it moved me!