I can't express in words how awful I am feeling right now on making a wonderful discovery. I wish, just writing about it could lessen that terrible feeling. Last Sunday my computer had crashed and my PC had to go for a complete makeover. The computer guy had assured me that he would take care of the data and transfer all of it onto my new harddisk. Despite that assurance gradually, I am learning that some of my valuable files are missing and today, I realized that out of all those files, the one where I had saved all my poems and fictions that were half-way in progress is gone and there is no way that I can retrieve them. I know, it is not equivalent to any sort of tragedy and I shouldn't be wailing like this but I also know that I will never be able to write it the way I had written. Ah! the loss is irreparable. I am not a prolific writer. I find writing pretty tough. Hats off to all those who can write with ease. Each time I lift my pen or begin to fiddle with the keyboard, I struggle to put down my thoughts, to get the right words, expressions and phrases that would evoke just the right kind of emotion or that which would convey the exact picture that my mind had conceived. There have been times when I have woken up in the middle of night and scribbled on a scrap of paper or chocolate wrappers or in a restaurant on paper napkins, afraid that I might just lose the word or the thought. Crazy it may sound though but its true.
Feeling as if sea waves have washed all that I had written with a single sweep and I am standing on the shore watching the waves retreat, snatching my words away from me and my memory, too, along with it. My memory is weak as far as my creativity is concerned so it will be hard retrieving it from my mental log. I should be careful next time and have a backup file stored somewhere else or better to get back to good old pen and paper. Life is so strange, all that we want to forget never leaves us and all that we try to remember or recall never comes back.
Goodbye to my lost poems and stories, you have taken not just the words that I wrote but bits and pieces of me that was fused in them. I have lost wonderful memories of the lands that I had travelled and the highs and lows of emotions that I had underwent when I had written each of them. It will be an exaggeration (and may even sound dramatic) but it was almost as if I had written each of them with my own blood.
33 comments:
Oh,So sorry to hear that.
I can understand the situ,last time I missed a single incomplete poem n felt so bad about that.
hmmm...I am sorry to read that...but what done is done...
I think you should now make a DVD of all your writings time to time...
I can understand the way you must be feeling now...
Sh@s!
I totally understand and am as disappointed if not more...I'm hoping that some hitherto unnoticed file which has the back up reveals itself and then with time you post them on these pages...
Tough luck...but moral of the story is always write on blogger or email and save as draft version...i always do that :)
Its never easy to write. Writing is a creation, thats happens at that time, in that mood, in that environment. It cannot be replaced or recreated. Its a big loss.
You lost it by accident, I did it on purpose. I know that feeling, it is not good, but then whats gone is gone, one has to move ahead.
Or in other words you can say it was destined .. but why time will tell.
I understand the pain that you might be feeling...
Though I am pretty sure, what you've lost can never be better thn what you may create. And in the next post I am expecting a fresh new poem, you won't disappoint..
Pasts are memories & they come back ,if they are etched in you..all your scribbled words,Lost for now ,will come back as sweet memories..and the future is a dream & no problems with that for you can pen them down as & when they surface .isnt it.so why to worry ,keep writing more of your lovely posts
TC
CU
No it doesn't sound like an exaggeration.And i can completely understand what it means to lose the things you have written because it has happened with me too.But never mind whatever happens,happens for good.So lets find out what was the good thing that came out of it or that can come out.
Hope new thoughts,emotions that come up..would be saved and some would be presented to us through your wonderful scribblings :)
Ohhh thats so sad .. Well i hope you will start to make backups, start emailing urself ...
Make copies of copies ... regularly I know how it hurts I lost all my college time work when we shifted my house ... fotos , essays, dramatics, certificates, letters everything ...
Now i make sure i make copies and put in different places
Sorry to hear about this ...
Bikram's
Similar is the situation with me when it comes to writing. Whenever I get a thought at some random place, I dig out my mobile and write a draft message.
That too takes a lot of gestation period to turn out into a blog post, but that is another story.
Don't worry about them, they are gone now and can't come back unless you dig em up in memory. But even Newton did not budge when his dog burnt his 20 years hard work. :)
All the best.
Cheers,
Blasphemous Aesthete
@ Neera,
Thanks! I hope you were able to rewrite it again.
Oh! Quite a predicament. And one I can't imagine. Maybe you should start working on those unfinished business right away, instead of storing it for later. Had that been the case, probably the blogs would have been an online copy for the same.
So, every tragic incident has a hidden lesson. For you, it could be to be careful with a backup. But also to finish of the thoughts that form in your head! :)
ohh hooo! very Sorry. But, What You Have Said Is Correct, "That I Will Never Be Able To Write It The Way I Had Written"
Its very much true. I sometimes write a poem in my cell phn, using compose sms option during late nights. something flash me all of a sudden, i save in my cell as drafts, or write on a piece of paper and keep it safely.
Even now, after publishing the post, when i read my own post in my blog, I wonder Did I really write all this ? When i was very new to blogging, i used to feel this each & every moment while writing. and now, it has become a regular hobby!
Takecare. I totally with the thoughts which u have shared here :)
@ Thinking,
Thanks! Ya, I will save it or email it to myself this time.
@ Ardra,
It cannot be retrieved anymore coz all the data from the old harddisk has been erased.
@ Amit,
Ya, I too, save it in blogger drafts at times but even that is not safe so its best to email it to oneself. One should keep saving the blog also from time to time coz blog access too can be denied by some error.
@ AS,
Rightly said. The loss is irreparable. Even when one destroys it by self it does haunt one. When you say that "it was destined .. but why time will tell", makes me wonder what was it that fate wanted me to forget or never reveal to anyone that I had written. Lets see, if destiny had a hand in it. Waiting for time to answer my answered questions.
@ Sourav,
Thanks! buddy for your consoling words words but I know deep down that what I had written was indeed best and I will never be able to recreate it. Hmmm....as far as a poem is concerned you will have to wait for it.
@ Compassion Unlimitted,
Thanks! I hope that they keep surfacing on my mind from time to time so that I can collect whatever remains I have of them them and reproduce it here. But, at times even when we have a memory of it expressing or articulating it becomes hard.
@ Alcina,
Thanks! Hope that happens.
@ Bikramjit,
Thanks! Ya, I will keep backup files from now onwards. I hope you were able to get duplicate of your certificates and other documents, later.
@ BA,
I agree the period that starts since one conceives the idea till the time it finally appears on the screen or gets published is a pretty long and gruelling one. Thanks for sharing the Newton incident, made me feel a bit better atleast it isn't as bad as losing 20years of hard work/labour.
@ Vinitha,
Ya, Its a lesson for me. I do remember some of it but I am unable to reproduce it and its quite frustrating coz I am able to express it in words anymore or anything similar to it.
@ Creativity,
Thanks! It happens with me too, that I am amazed at self and wonder at times if I was the one who wrote it all. Wish you happy blogging.
Life's not all beer and skittles
Don't worry there are many softwares for data recovery .Once formatted it can recover atleast 40-50 % of the files.
Try that!
If u need any help just put a message on fb.
And next time se thoda careful ho jaao .
i cn understand all that coz writing for a non-prolific write is too hard, it takes much of time nd mind and when u loose such a thing then u miss some of those instincts actually that have triggered that piece of wrk.....but nothing's can't b done nw.
well, u cn store things as drafts in gmail,that way it remain etched forever nd cn b accessed neweher....
cheers :)
coz i knw u cn,no u will come up with much more than that
I don't think its much of an obstacle.... i know the feeling is terrible, but whatever happens happens for the best! Maybe you are yet to discover your true potential as a writer, just go on.. :) Don't be sad!
Cheers,
Sigh! Sucha loss!
But I hope and I'm confident that you will be able to re collect all of those and be able to present them to us!
Cheer up! :-)
Ah, computer problems seems to be bugging other people too (other than me) I see.
Yeah, it really sucks when one loses their precious belongings. Hope you can recreate the magic again :)
:((((
very sorry for that... can really empathise that..many times it happens..we write/draw something on paper..and the next time we wont find it..we feel we lost something..which cannot be reproduced to that level of perfection...it feels terrible..
but dont worry.. you will do much better than the previous version..just keep the confidence that it is not lost from ur memory..it's hidden somewhere deep in ur mind..it will slowly come out..and this time in a better shape.. so cheer up..
@ Anonymous,
Ya, you are right.
Btw for your information data..anything..if written once ( in soft copy) never ever lost completely provided you have saved it at least once.
Laugh it away. Bid good riddance. Remember the poem "If". And if it still doesn't console you, read how many times the novel Shantaram was written by the author before the jail authorities didn't tear it.
Start using a RAID disk, or saving your data encrypted on the cloud (albeit in multiple hosts).
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