Scribblings on the Wall

Master Key

2012-01-23T23:44:00.000+05:30

"Stop thinking....start doing....

You can't sit like this whole day and keep thinking. You need to act, quickly." He said.

She sat still..., thinking.

"Action....action....action....

drama....drama...drama...." He chanted animatedly.

"My hands aren't moving, my legs aren't moving, my mind is freezing....I am in a stupor...wake me up please....somebody put me into action....somebody please, please press the button." She replied, helplessly.

"There IS no button. I can't see any." He looked everywhere.

She gaped at him with unchanged expression.

"Waaait....I found something." He jumped as if he had found a switch to heaven.

She still gaped at him with an unchanged look on her face.

He went around her and wound the key several times till it could turn no more. She moved frenetically and started clapping. He jumped as she clapped and watched her with a jubilant smile.

This was an everyday drama. He knew how to make her dance and when to make her dance. The key wasn't lost, it was in his hands. A slave to his wish, she gaped and danced with unchanged expression.

An unposted letter

2012-01-15T15:13:00.000+05:30

To,

Death O' Death,
My Cold Prince,
Where art thou?

Your icy lips never felt
more warm and inviting,
Your freezing arms never seemed
more comforting than today.

Come claim me.
I wait for thee,
loveless and lifeless.
Come claim me before life re-claims me.

Yours,
Deadsoul

Aye Zindagi...

2012-01-11T21:50:00.000+05:30

अभी मुझ में कहीं बाकी थोड़ी सी है ज़िन्दगी....
Somewhere there is some life left in me...

A lovely song couldn't help sharing it here. Lyrics of the song can be found here .

Melancholically Melodious

2012-01-10T23:17:00.000+05:30

Good bye 2011

2011-12-21T15:09:00.000+05:30

रो लेने दो आज हमे ज़ार ज़ार
सींचने दो तुम्हारे सीने को आज इक आखरी बार

Let me cry to my heart's content,
Let me drench your heart for the last time, today.

----------------oooooooooo---------------

उन जाते हुए लम्हों से कोई कह दो

कि वो कुछ पलों के लिए रुक जाये

जाते जाते मेरे कुछ यादों को अपने संग ले जाये

और कुछ, जो वक़्त कि तिजोरी में बंद है, उन्हें रिहा कर जाये I

Somebody please ask the passing moments

to pause for a while,

to take away some of my memories with it

and release some that is locked in the chest of time.

-------0000000--------

I wish, I could ask time to just stop for me.....

Reclaiming her lost voice

2011-12-15T04:24:00.000+05:30

Yesterday, when on the spur of the moment I wanted to sing. I tried and horribly messed it up, a song which I never went wrong with coz its a song which I used to sing as a lullaby for someone. It was only then I realized that it had been really long since I had sung for someone and that I have almost lost my voice (not my speech but the spontaneity and melody). Its not that I don't sing or hum but just that I have lost the urge/desire to sing for anyone, anymore.

I recall the times when I used to be woken up in the middle of the night by my cellphone only to be told from the other end, in a groggy and tired voice, "heyy, I am not getting sleep, please sing for me.." and I used to simply smile instead of getting annoyed or fake anger for spoiling my sleep, at times but was always more than eager to lull him to sleep when he would request me to go on even after the song was over. I don't have a great voice (though some find it sweet) nor do I sing like a nightingale but the fact that he found my voice soothing and comforting was rewarding in itself. I don't know if he misses my voice or those grownup lullaby's but I do miss singing for someone.

Here's the song which I tried to sing last night, "Lag ja gale se" from the movie "Woh Kaun Thi (1964)" :

Silly Conversations: II

2011-11-19T22:13:00.000+05:30

He: Stop strutting around like a peacock.
She: Plzzzz, don't change my gender.

He: OK, Miss Henny. Stop walking and sit down quietly.
She: Henny?? You mean Honey (smiles and flutters her eyes)

He: Honey and you, no way. Hen wala henny.

She: How mean.. :\
He : Whats so mean in that? You only meant that. Forgot you asked me not to change your gender (smiles).

She: Ok. Ok. Stop grinning now.
He: Only, when you'll stop pecking me.

She: When did I peck you?
He: Hens peck. Right?

She: Right. But, when did I peck you?

He: You are a peahen and not peacock. Right?
She: Yes, but whenn.. did I peck you?? Stop accusing me of what I haven't done so far. (Simmering...)

He: Yes, you haven't so com'on give me one, now (points at his cheek and grins).

She: Youuu....huh...(marches out of the room).
He: That was easy. (smiles wickedly and concentrates back on his lappy)

Random Scribblings - 2

2011-11-11T22:50:00.001+05:30

There are days when you want to sleep and never wake up.

Wish that day was today.

11.11.11

Do chand ki kahani (A tale of two moons)

2011-11-07T23:32:00.000+05:30

एक चाँद ऊपर भी था और एक नीचे भी

एक जुदा था तो दूसरा खफा

एक आधा था तो दूसरा अधूरा

दोनों की कहानी एक सी थी

आधी और अधूरी

तनहा और जुदा

Blackout

2011-11-01T14:21:00.001+05:30

Mind struggles,
Pen wrestles
Impotency plagues,
Nibs break,
Pages pale
And, the hegemony of silence continues.

P.S. Had this intense urge to write so just scribbled something though this is an ungodly hour for me to blog.

Silly conversations

2011-10-22T01:05:00.000+05:30

He: What are you doing?
She: Eating.
He: What?
She: Biscuits
He: Which biscuit? Eat something better (in a concerned voice).
She: OK. Parle G.
He: Don't you have a better choice.
She: Yes, I have.
He: What?
She: Tiger biscuit.
He: Uff....eat some adult food.
She: Ok. Will have Marie Gold biscuit...ting..ting..ti..ting :P
He: arghh....eat something better.
She: Yesss, I will. Your head.
He: Grrr....
She: Food growls?? I thought only tummies growled.
He: Grrrrrr.....
She: And, the growl gets louder hi hi...
He: Stop IT.
She: What?
He: Eating my head.
She: You only asked me to eat something better (laughs).

Drizzling melody

2011-10-16T00:24:00.000+05:30

There were lots of fragmented and fractured thoughts that I wanted to scribble but couldn't find the words to express or complete the incomplete ones so I choose to share this, instead. Its weird but I can listen to a single song in a loop for days together. Its like absorbing every drop of the drizzling rain; soaking in every word, melody and mood of the song. So, here's my song of the week by Agnee.

This is the female version:

Warring hearts

2011-10-02T10:08:00.001+05:30

You no longer savour my silence
And, I your cold stares
My fingers fiddle to fill it with some music.
Borrowed words hurt your eardrum
You inch closer only to show the hurt by hurting me
A bloody battle ensues
Exacting muffled moans for words
Imprinting your dominance
for every feeble defiance
An eye for an eye
A wound for a wound
Giving and taking
pain for pain
hurt for hurt
Every limb struggles to avenge
The done and undone.
My body bears the wounds that your heart suffered.
A wicked smile flickers on your face,
and its sweetness on my lips,
A revenge so sweet.
With the scores settled
The two enemies lie
Recovering, recuperating
In each others arms
Readying for the next battle.

Kuch adhuri baatein

2011-09-20T02:52:00.000+05:30

Was listening to the above song and the following lines came to my mind so jotting them down here. The jottings are far away from what the song says.

उम्मीदें

बुझते हुए दीपक से

और रौशनी की उम्मीद न रखो,

उजड़े हुए चमन से

खुशबू की उम्मीद न रखो,

थमते हुए साँसों से
ज़िन्दगी भर का साथ न मांगो I

ना जिज्ञासा करो आने वाले पालों का,

ना बीते हुए लम्हों का हिसाब मांगो मुझसे,
बस आज,

आज इस पल में जी लेने दो मुझे

क्यूंकि ये पल तुम्हारा है,

सिर्फ तुम्हारा I

Translation: (This is a modified version of the above lines.)

Ask not for more light
From a dying candle,
Ask not for fragrance
From a dead rose,
Ask not for promises of a lifetime
From a dying person.

Ask not about the time that is to come,
Ask not for an account of the past,
I have no answers to them.
For no man had any hold over time and events.
Let the questions take care of its own answers
By living (in) this moment.
The present shall take care of the past and the time that is to come.

I want to live,
Live this moment
With you,
For it is yours,
Only yours.

The Enemy within...

2011-09-10T21:26:00.000+05:30

I am my worst enemy.
How do I kill her?

R.I.P.

2011-08-26T14:57:00.000+05:30

You ask for words

and I am left with none.

Silence is all I can give you, today.

Nindiya re...

2011-08-21T03:07:00.004+05:30

Sleep eludes when the mind is not at ease.
Eyes yearn to trap it even if it is for a fleeting moment.

Mother's lap (dad's too) is one place where we all found sleep effortlessly. Even when it was difficult, there were tender hands which lulled us into a gentle sleep. I miss the magic of those hands. I wonder, if I'll find sleep there again coz I know I'll worry about the well-being of those weary hands even as they would stroke me gently, coaxing me to sleep.

P.S. Tried uploading the video but I couldn't so just sharing the link of a beautiful song for insomniacs like me. Nindiya Re by Kaavish presented by Coke studio.

A day to remember

2011-08-14T03:20:00.019+05:30

Today was a beautiful day.

After a long long time, I lolled in nothingness and did what my heart prompted. I was not bothered with any deadlines or protocols. Loved the silence of my phone which was broken only by a couple of calls. I simply drowned myself in melody and every moment of it was blissful, listened to bangla gaan the whole day. I can't understand the language much. Still, I loved every bit of it. I Googled for the English translation of the lyrics but couldn't find any except for "Tomake Chai" (thanks to Rajbir for telling me about the song). For the last few days I was ruing about my failed plans, it was a much awaited holiday to get away from the city coz after a long time we were going to have a really long weekend and it seemed just perfect for a mini-adventure trip but then.....blah...blah...blah....shall spare you the details. Anyways, better luck next time. But, I am not complaining anymore...smiles....smiles....coz it was a day well-spent in bliss and yes, I missed someone, my bro (dear you shall live in my memory more than the days you spent on this earth). And, a day is no day if it wouldn't end with a tinge of sadness coz without it all that bliss would come to naught.

The day dramatically turned out to be like a bitter-sweet piece of chocolate. Its the bitterness which is still lingering in my mouth but am OK with it coz that is what makes me more human. Its not pessimism but a sweet realization of a bitter fact of life. It is way past 12 but to me the night is still young and my day isn't over.

P.S. Thanks to everybody whom I have met and also to those whom I may never meet. Each one of you make my life beautiful. A big Thank you to all. Sharing the links of some of the songs that I had been listening all day:
Tomar jonno

Gaibona
Brishti tomake dilam
Ami eto je tomai
Hridoy
Tomake Chai

I want you...

2011-08-06T03:45:00.001+05:30

I want you...

Only you......

Bad, really bad...

I am crazy about you.

No, crazy is not the word. I am maaaaddd about you.

Call me insane maybe that will make you realize, how much I love you.

I love you to the extent of becoming your slave

the rest of my life

just to have you once.

I am sick, sick with desires

of you.

I bet, you will never find a better lover

than me.

She said this
to the last piece of Bournville :P

P.S. An ode to my late-night chocolate cravings.

Unlikely solution for a likely question

2011-07-22T14:59:00.001+05:30

Tension writ large on her face. Her head felt heavy and her shoulders ached. She closed her eyes for a few minutes trying to sort out things in her head. Her mind wrestled with various thoughts and options. Tried thinking of probable solutions. Nothing seemed to enlighten her. Tension grew instead of settling down. She simply shut her mind and looked out of the window from where light streamed in. The piece of sky that her eyes caught, had faded. She wondered. What had happened to the blueness of the sky? Was it the bright Sun or the misty clouds that had robbed it of its colour or was that faded look a particular phase of the day which would soon phase out restoring its colour?...

Her cell phone beeped and its screen beamed with the text, "You have received two new messages". She gave a cursory look to it and her eyes travelled back to her table and she wondered what she was doing there. A book lay open on the table with a few clips holding its pages, a file with a blue stick-on on which 'urgent' was scribbled. A writing pad lay aside with a few jottings. The matter on her computer screen matched the jottings but there was a pencil in her hand. She tried to recall that she did last before her mind had wandered off. She tried, tried hard to remember but her mind blanked out.
She was in the middle of so many things that nothing on her crowded table helped her recall that had engaged her serious attention a few minutes back. All she could think then was the immediate need to de-clutter the table and probably her life, too. Maybe the solution lay there.

Random Scribblings: 1

2011-07-17T23:54:00.004+05:30

And, the journey continues...
But, somewhere, something is lost.

Everything looks fine.

But, somewhere, something is amiss
like the dot on an "i".

Almost an everyday tale

2011-07-14T14:15:00.001+05:30

She held her dad's head on hertiny lap and cried with joy as he responded to her cries. He gradually regained his senses and saw her through his blood stuck eyes and, couldn’t stop his tears from flowing out of it along with the blood. He found himself in the middle of anopen graveyard. His business lay in ruins and he had no idea how he would resurrectit. He clutched his daughter to his heart as if she was the most precious thingon this earth and cried like a madman, happy to see her alive where he had losthis son and wife a few years back. The horror had visited him again. Yet, hemanaged to smile, smile amidst tears, dust, ruins, blood and horror. For that is whatthis city had taught him over and over again.

P.S. I couldn't think of a better title coz this is happening again and again and I am afraid to say that it has almost become a daily (though in certain intervals 2003, 2006, 2008, 2011) tale.
I salute the spirit of Mumbaikars. May God give them the strength to bear the loss and pain. I am so angry with the whole system but there is no point in ranting it out here. Thats what we have been doing each time this episode got repeated. I loathe myself as I sit silent and helpless like many and simply watch the drama unfold yet, again.

Finding self

2011-07-09T12:39:00.000+05:30

In WE

Is US

When I shall find YOU

I shall find ME.

Child-woman

2011-06-22T02:55:00.002+05:30

Nestled in your lap

With a child-like eagerness

She watches your mouth

To sprout words.

The moment

It pops out any

She plucks and gathers them quickly

Creating a mental log.

Your words

She twists and turns

Molds and re-molds

Derives meanings she desires

At times amusing

At times annoying.

Hurls them back at you

Playfully or when hurt

You yell at her,

“That’s not what I meant”.

Numbed by the sharpness

She sits still and cries.

With the remains of your words

Nestled in her lap

Like a broken doll

Beyond repair.

P.S. When a girl grows up into a woman, her playmate changes. She searches for a glimpse of her old playmate in the new one. She never quite grows up, the child within her stays alive and she continues with her games but the memories of her old playmate never goes i.e. her dad. I miss you dad. Yes, Father's Day is over but I want to celebrate this bond each and every day because he is precious.

Whenever I think of father's love, I am always reminded of the Kabuliwala story by Rabindranath Tagore.

To wander in the light of stars...

2011-06-10T21:10:00.002+05:30

Music was my refuge. I could crawl into the space between the notes and curl my back to loneliness. ~

Maya Angelou, Gather Together in My Name

Music is.........

I better not define it for others coz everybody shares a unique bond with it. For me it is like crawling into the space between the notes and wander in the light of stars...

Most of you must have done this tag. I had done it long time back and had almost forgotten about it. Found it in the drafts so posting it now. I had found it silly while doing the tag in the beginning but was quite amused by the songs that came as answers to the questions. Looks like my Realplayer has a mind of its own. Enjoy the songs. Whoever wishes to take it up is most welcome to do so.

Rules::

1. Put your iTunes, Windows Media Player, IPOD etc. on shuffle.
2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.
3. YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG DOWN NO MATTER HOW SILLY IT SOUNDS

1. If someone asks you, “are you okay ? ?” you say:

Its all coming back to me now...
(Celine Dion)

2. How would you describe yourself ?

Tell me just what you want me to be....

(Game of love - Carlos Santana & Michelle Branch )

3. What do you like in a guy/girl ?

I didn't notice but i didn't care,
I tried being honest but that left me nowhere...

(One of these days - Michelle Branch)

4. How do you feel today ?

Hear your heartbeat

Beat a frantic pace

And its not even 7 am...

(Sleep - Poets of the Fall)

5. What is your life’s purpose ?

I have run from these feelings so long telling my heart I don't need you...

(Need to be next to you - Michelle Branch)

6. What’s your motto ?

It must have been love but its over now...
(Roxette)

7. What do your friends think of you ?

I love the way you look tonight, your hair hanging on your shoulders...
(Lets make a night - Bryan Adams)

8. What do your parents think of you?

    People always talk about (ey oh ey oh ey oh)
    All the things they're all about (ey oh ey oh ey oh)
    (Superstar - Jamelia)

9. What do you think of often ?

    Of all the things I've believed in
    I just want to get it over with...
    (Good bye to You - Michelle Branch)

10. What is 2 + 2 ?

Lost without you, can't help myself...

(Robin Thicke)

11. What do you think of your best friend ?

Pretty woman walking down the street...

(Pretty woman)

12. What is your life story ?

      Something 'bout the way you looked at me
      Made me think for a moment,
      That maybe we were meant to be
      Living our lives separately...

(Desperately - Michelle Branch)

13. What do you want to be when you grow up ?

Turn it inside out so I can see
The part of you that's drifting over me...

(Everywhere - Michelle Branch)

14. What do you think when you see the person you like ?

Hello, you fool, I love you,

C'mon join the joyride...

(Joyride - Roxette)

15. What will you dance to at your wedding 4th anniversary?

Since the moment I spotted you,
like walkin' around with...

(Why don't you and I - Carlos Santana & Chad Kruger)

16. What will they play at your funeral ?

It doesn't matter how far apart we are now
You can add up all the miles in between
(Together - Michelle Branch)

17. What is your hobby/interest ?

      Wait
      Don’t wait for the water....
      (Water runs dry - Boyz II Men)

18. What is your biggest fear ?

Let me tell you a secret
Put it in your heart and keep it...

(Heal the Pain - George Micheal)

19. What is your biggest secret ?

      When you told me that I was a star in the sky
      Baby, I believed every word...
      (Was I the Only One - Jordin Sparks)

20. What do you want right now ?

Everything's cool, yeah.
It's all gonna be okay, yeah...

(The Way I loved You - Selena Gomes)

21. What do you think of your friends?

Instrumental

(Love Story - Richard Clayderman )

22. When you want to rush to the toilet, what do you think ?

     Say goodbye to not knowing when
     The truth in my whole life began...
     (I'll Remember - Madonna)

23. Person you hate the most is in front of you, what will you tell the person?

Well you know everything's gonna be a breeze,
That the end will no doubt justify the means...

(Everything is Not What it Seems - Selena Gomes)

24. You have just won a lottery. What will you sing ?

     Close your eyes, make a wish
     And blow out the candlelight
   (Boyz II Men)

25. What will you post this as?

     In the coldest time of year,
     Darkness all around my heart.
     I was alone but didn't fear
     TO WANDER IN THE LIGHT OF STARS...
     (So Far Away - Roxette)

Parenting Dreams

2011-05-29T18:14:00.001+05:30

I write and erase with such celerity that it surprises me. Snatching self from self, tearing my own thoughts into bits and feeding my own hungry dreams that are no less than suckling infants. I wonder how can one mother more than one child. Maybe it is easy being a mother than fathering two dreams or is it vice-versa? I might be wrong but somehow I feel that the way a man treats his children is different from the way a woman does, given their biological and social make-up and thought-process. I am comparing parenting with nurturing dreams because nurturing dreams is almost like nurturing children. We have many dreams and we try to live them all; success or failure of it is another thing but trying to live or materialize them is of utmost importance to me.

So, I wish to understand the relationship that we share with each of our dreams and the treatment that we give to each of them. Why are we partial to one and kind to another? (Well! One may say that our level of interest in it, available opportunities and resources, decides our response to it but......) Can we as a parent truly treat all are children with equal affection?

My question is can we humans truly treat others with equality? Can we be impartial or non-distinctive in our treatment?

Is it pure selfishness or is it love that makes one so selfish or partial?

P.S. This post is a little jumbled up. Hope you all can make some sense out of it. Happy Sunday!

Kiss the Rain

2011-05-22T21:58:00.001+05:30

Since the last couple of days we're having an awesome weather. Sudden downpour has tamed Delhi heat and given us the much needed respite from it. I have been enjoying the wind, rain and Yiruma's "Kiss the Rain". Sharing the link with you all:

Note: For the lyrics of "Kiss the rain" you can click on the following link. Yiruma - Kiss The Rain lyrics | LyricsMode.com

Sharing another link with you, its the sound of rain. Try playing both the tracks simultaneously and let me know what's it like (I had read it on the web and tried it. It's a pure delight for the senses.):

Enjoy the "jugalbandi" (duet) of music and nature!!

Khaali Canvas (Empty Canvas)

2011-05-15T22:42:00.014+05:30

लम्हा लम्हा जी लूं तुम्हें

तो पा लूं ज़िन्दगी ,

तुम्हे पाकर खो दूं ज़िन्दगी

तो कोई ग़म नहीं ,

पर ज़िन्दगी पाकर तुम्हें खो दूं

तो ज़िन्दगी, ज़िन्दगी नहीं I

तम्हारे बिना,

ये ज़िन्दगी इक खाली कैनवास है I

Translation:

Living (with) you each moment
I shall find life
If I shall find you by losing life
It shall be worth it
But
If I found life by losing you
It shall be worthless 'cause
Life won’t be life anymore.

Without you,
Life is like an empty canvas.

P.S. It is not a good translation but have done it for those who are not well-versed with Hindi.

P.S.S. Popularity and heavy traffic comes at a price. After a lot of effort I was able to recover my blog. Sorry, to all those who had problem viewing my blog. I hope its functioning properly now. If the problem persists then plz do let me know.

An Ordinary Tale

2011-05-04T02:00:00.001+05:30

I have been on a sleeping mode. Was wondering when my snooze-fest would be over not that I wasn't enjoying it. It was a blissful period, slumbering in and out of reality and dreams. Free from worries for a brief period. Had wondered then what would wake me up from this sweet sleep or knock me out of this reverie. Well! I didn't have to wait long (though I wanted it to go on a bit longer). My (not-so) charming prince came in disguise of reality which woke me up not with a kiss but a kick. Hmm..….not all fairy tales are hunky-dory with a sweet ending.
Some are like.............

Metro Musings

2011-04-25T22:54:00.000+05:30

At the end of the day she struggles to get into an overcrowded train. Fighting her way in as a few push their way out. Looks for her favourite spot to station herself as people get in and get out of that little coach. She discovers that her place has already been occupied by someone else so she waits eagerly for that person to leave and wonders if she would get that spot before she reaches her destination. She waits and waits swaying in the middle of the coach as the train jerks and moves and snakes through the tunnel.

The Gift (55 Fiction)

2011-04-18T08:25:00.003+05:30

Title: The Gift

His bosom swelled with manly pride and conquest. He lustily looked at Pooja’s naked body which lay still. “How dare she refuse me”, he murmured.

“Surprise…”, shouted Leela.

He turned around to see. Leela, his sister stood with a Teddy in hand.
Leela froze seeing her little daughter motionless and regretted not believing her words.

P.S. The month of April has been declared as "Child Sexual Abuse Awareness Month". I am unable to write anything new on the said topic so I am re-posting one of my earlier posts which is on 'child sexual abuse'.

P.S.S. I had a tough time writing on this topic and limiting myself to the word limit. This post is dedicated to all those children who are the silent sufferers of child-abuse. Home is considered to be one of the safest place but it turns out to be the most unsafe place for these children because their so called protectors are the real predators. Sadly their parents too don't believe such children and their stories because they find it unbelievable or are scared to confront the guilty because of family honour and the fear of spoiling family relationships. I hope all parents especially mothers become sensitive and attentive to their children's stories and educate their kids on this topic (which is a difficult task). Some amount of sensitivity and attentiveness can save your child from such abuse and a life-long stigma.

IMPORTANT: Plz read this post Child sexual abuse by Bikramjit, it's very informative and I request all of you to plz spare a couple of minutes to read it. Thanks!

Obituary

2011-04-12T02:14:00.005+05:30

Breathless I lie.
Thinking, where am I.
Someone raises,
A tomb of words
for my dead bones.
Thinking,
That by singing my life's paeans,
They can do justice to my dead veins.
Alas! their words are hollow,
Every syllable sounds so shallow.

Priyotama (Beloved)

2011-04-04T23:10:00.001+05:30

Language of music is universal. No language can restrict one from enjoying its melody. This is a bangla song "Priyotama" by Rupankar.

Chole eso aaj e raate...

priyotama by rupankar mp4 download
After a long time I felt like singing, again. I wish, I could sing this song as a lullaby to someone.

Bulaa Rahaa Hai Koi....

2011-04-01T23:01:00.002+05:30

Music has its own language, it does not need words always. Sharing this unreleased track by Indian Ocean. Hope you'll enjoy it.

The Chase

2011-03-16T13:33:00.002+05:30

How she wished, she could be like the clear running brooks to him instead she turned into a dark murky pond. She didn't know why? Each time he tried to read her thoughts, she turned more obtuse. The more he probed, the more it became dark. When he moved towards her, she coiled inside painfully concealing those wounds from him with fake smiles and tinkered laughter. She kept drowning herself in that darkness, looking for solace. Running away from him each time he tried to reach out to her. How ironical, the more he tried to be with her, the more she moved further away from him. And, when he was not around, she pined for him. His absence was killing.

The hunt longed to get hunted...

Ahh...when is the next full moon?
Waiting for the hunter and the chase to begin.

Cryptic Tales

2011-02-21T23:10:00.002+05:30

"Anxious is the mind,

Restless is the soul..."

Some tales are left half,

For not every tale can be told.

There are some

That are meant

Only for the soul

And are
Best not told.
For their sacredness lies
In the secrets that they hold.

P.S. The title of the poem is not so apt but I wish to name it thus coz it is cryptic in a way for me.

A Day for Love

2011-02-13T22:06:00.003+05:30

Love...love...love...

Its everywhere on coffee mugs, newspaper, fliers, TV commercials, FM channels, flowershops, billboards, etc;

Its everywhere, even in the air, I can see it floating and flying, little heart-shaped red balloons with those magical words printed on it, along with fancy frills and glitter.

I can see the word 'love' unfolding in the wrapped gift;

I can see it when those manicured fingers get entwined with the manly ones behind the bouquet of flowers;

I can see it being explored in the nooks and corners of the body where the essence of life lies hidden;

I can hear it in giggly smiles and perfumed whispers;

I can hear it when “I love you” is chanted frivolously or like a well-rehearsed monologue which turns into a dialogue;

I see it everywhere around me,
Except where it should have been;
in the heart.

P.S. Wish you all a Happy Valentine's Day!
May each of you be touched by the most beautiful emotion on this earth which is stronger than Fevicol. May it keep the two hearts glued forever. Let not market forces but the forces of your heart bind you two.

Urban Jungle

2011-02-06T16:37:00.025+05:30

The metal python moves swiftly sucking and spewing people on tiled floors every five minutes. Its a pleasant contrary to it's fleshy counterpart as it is waited upon rather than chased away or beaten to death by the urban beings. But, its quite a scene when the urban man's impatience touches newer heights with every seconds delay of their domesticated python's coming. It takes them no more than a fraction of a second to unleash the monster within. To watch their monstrosity grow and battle with time and others, to become the food of this mighty python can be amusing or infuriating at times. Never will you witness such a scene when the food looked more eager to be devoured than the demon.

The slenderous python obeying techno command stuffs its belly with such irate crowds, night and day with an insatiable hunger and moves on with the same vengeance. Snaking through the dark and deep tunnel, lighting it's way rather than look for light at the end of the tunnel.

Hail! The Metro rail that cometh your way.

P.S. If you fail to understand the post or get lost in the maze of words then you are not to be blamed coz the author herself has got noodled in her own thoughts. If you can then you are a genius :)

Tumhi Se

2011-01-30T00:03:00.001+05:30

तुम्ही से होती सुबह मेरी,

तुम्ही से शाम,

ना देखूं तुम्हे तो, होता न मेरे दिन का विराम I

With you my day starts,

With you it ends,

The days I can't see you,
it-- never ends.

Alleviating dark thoughts

2011-01-23T21:54:00.002+05:30

Bitterness melts in my mouth like the dark sensations. As the bitter-sweet pieces drowns the taste-buds in its unusual sweetness, I hope for the agitated thoughts to settle down. They say dark chocolate is good for health but I eat it for my heart. They also say that chocolates keep depressing thoughts away. Don't know how true it is but this modern myth provides me with enough reasons to indulge in my dark cravings and silence my silly mind from stopping me from such indulgences. Only gloomy moments will be able to testify whether this modern myth has any truth in it or if these bitter-sweet dark pieces have any dark powers to drive away the darkness that afflicts my heart.

Lost forever

2011-01-17T01:19:00.004+05:30

I can't express in words how awful I am feeling right now on making a wonderful discovery. I wish, just writing about it could lessen that terrible feeling. Last Sunday my computer had crashed and my PC had to go for a complete makeover. The computer guy had assured me that he would take care of the data and transfer all of it onto my new harddisk. Despite that assurance gradually, I am learning that some of my valuable files are missing and today, I realized that out of all those files, the one where I had saved all my poems and fictions that were half-way in progress is gone and there is no way that I can retrieve them. I know, it is not equivalent to any sort of tragedy and I shouldn't be wailing like this but I also know that I will never be able to write it the way I had written. Ah! the loss is irreparable. I am not a prolific writer. I find writing pretty tough. Hats off to all those who can write with ease. Each time I lift my pen or begin to fiddle with the keyboard, I struggle to put down my thoughts, to get the right words, expressions and phrases that would evoke just the right kind of emotion or that which would convey the exact picture that my mind had conceived. There have been times when I have woken up in the middle of night and scribbled on a scrap of paper or chocolate wrappers or in a restaurant on paper napkins, afraid that I might just lose the word or the thought. Crazy it may sound though but its true.

Feeling as if sea waves have washed all that I had written with a single sweep and I am standing on the shore watching the waves retreat, snatching my words away from me and my memory, too, along with it. My memory is weak as far as my creativity is concerned so it will be hard retrieving it from my mental log. I should be careful next time and have a backup file stored somewhere else or better to get back to good old pen and paper. Life is so strange, all that we want to forget never leaves us and all that we try to remember or recall never comes back.

Goodbye to my lost poems and stories, you have taken not just the words that I wrote but bits and pieces of me that was fused in them. I have lost wonderful memories of the lands that I had travelled and the highs and lows of emotions that I had underwent when I had written each of them. It will be an exaggeration (and may even sound dramatic) but it was almost as if I had written each of them with my own blood.

Q. Are you lonesome tonight?

2011-01-13T23:55:00.002+05:30

Q2. Do you miss me tonight?

The original one by Elvis Presley...

A tribute to Elvis by Norah Jones

Ans2. Yes, I do miss you.

Ans. Can it be lonesome with Elvis around.
What about you?

P. S. : Loved both the versions. Discovered these two amazing pieces tonight so just sharing with you all.
Wish you all Happy Lohri and Makarsankranti !
Have a melodious night!

This is how I want to go...

2011-01-09T16:49:00.001+05:30

First post of the year and I should begin with a bang, thats what I had thought and everybody did. Well! I am making my silent and late entry as I come with this post like a student who is late for his/her class and squeamishly enters the classroom.

There is something that I have been thinking for a while (me the pondering fool). Silent has been my entry, how silent will my exit be? (I am not being suicidal simply thinking of the end that someday each one of has to face and there is nothing wrong in thinking about it and living your life keeping the 'end' in perspective). Will I go with a bang or with just a whimper? Well, only time will tell how my exit shall be but before I sleep for the last time, there's lots that I have to do and finish the unfinished tasks, live the many dreams that I have dreamt and be there for my parents till their last breath. I was listening to Robbie Williams "My Way" and I wished if this song could become my swan song, too. I wonder, if I will be able to say like him, 'I did it my way'. I hope so and this is how I want to go.... (no not the concert and all but I should be able to utter each word of the song with much delight when the 'end comes').

With this 'End', I want to begin my New Beginning. Thinking all the way, this is how I want to go...

Last Post, Last Fiction

2010-12-30T22:41:00.007+05:30

She slapped the button to shut down the screaming alarm and snuggled deep in her bed under the quilt. After a couple of seconds she lifted her head up slightly like a hooded cobra, trying to check time with her eyes still half-closed. Her eyes popped out and she jumped out of the bed on realizing that she was late and had only four hours to get ready. Even those four hours seemed too less for her or her kind to dress up, after all it was no ordinary event. Rushing to the bath she wondered what she should wear for the much-awaited evening. Water still dripped from her wet hair as she checked her closet. Nothing looked appealing and she kept shifting clothes, hoping to find something good. Blue, black, red, green were there but she didn't feel like wearing them. Suddenly, she spotted a white saree which hung at the corner almost pressed to the side. She pulled it out and looked fondly at it. It was years back that she had worn it. She had no idea who her guest was. So, she thought of going traditional as she was told only to receive the guest and no other information was provided. Also, coz it was long since she had worn a saree. As she draped it around her lissome body, each fold reminded her of the tiny memories attached to it. She checked herself in the mirror and felt satisfied. She made a perfect picture of beauty and grace.

She shimmered and sashayed around her modest house checking things and putting them in place waiting for her unknown guest, wondering who the person was and why that person was so special, just then the doorbell rang. She opened the door with a wide smile but there was no one. Suddenly, a man sprang in front of her dressed completely in black and opened fire on her with his automatic gun without warning. Pellets of metal pieces hit her but she did not bleed, surprisingly. She was in a complete state of shock and couldn't figure out what was happening to her. Instead of blood oozing out of her body, tiny flames began eating her wherever the pellets had punctured her body. She began to burn like a piece of paper. She looked up to see who her assailant was. To her surprise he had already disappeared. And, before she could do anything further, she had turned to ash.

An officer came to inspect the scene.

"Not a single drop of blood. A clean kill and no sign of the body. Good job...hmm." He murmured under his breath, satisfied with black-cat's work .

"Clean up the space". He ordered.

"Yes, sir", replied two men in obedience.

"Get the space ready for the next occupant. He will be arriving any moment."

"Yes, sir." Replied the two men together.

P.S. Just another way of saying goodbye to 2010 and welcoming 2011.
Wish you all a Happy and prosperous New Year!

Merry Tidings...

2010-12-25T17:20:00.001+05:30

Wish you all a beautiful and Merry Christmas!

Warmest greetings this winter with lots of hugs and sweet wishes!

The best of all gifts around any Christmas tree: the presence of a happy family all wrapped up in each other. ~Burton Hillis

A prayer on my lips for every home and family. May the warmth of love keep all winters away from each ones heart.

Trespassing

2010-12-14T12:50:00.000+05:30

Trod the path that I was not supposed to,
Left my dusty footprints where I was not supposed to,
Like the Elves I ventured in the beguiling human world in a stupor,
Deluded by my own dreams.

Urgent Help Required !!

2010-12-08T02:57:00.007+05:30

Everybody feels happy each time they see a new person following their blog. But, this time I did not coz to my utter dismay and horror, I discovered that one of my recent followers is the owner/writer of an adult blog and has quite an appalling (can be appealing for some) profile picture. On seeing the profile icon I was a bit shocked and blinked my eyes in disbelief because I wondered who would be so bold to have such a profile picture and rushed to block the person. I was wondering as to how and what appealed the person to follow my blog. Probably the number of followers or the traffic must have motivated the person. There is nothing wrong in being an adult content/blog writer but I certainly do not want such writers to be on my followers list. So, please maintain the sanctity of my blog space and stay away from it. Such people are welcome to read my blog rather than publish or promote their blog on my space.
I REQUEST that follower to please stop following my blog.

Help!!

Please somebody tell me how to block unwanted followers. I tried to block the person but the block button does not seem to work. I checked Google and realized that I was not the only person who is unable to block unwanted followers. All geeks and computer experts please reply, soon.

Unspoken...

2010-12-06T12:43:00.016+05:30

They say, 'Silence speaks.....speaks louder than words'.

   If Silence hath any speech...
   We would have been able to hear all unspoken words,
   .........................................and read all unwritten thoughts.

Final Question

2010-11-21T02:11:00.001+05:30

He asked, "What are you thinking?"

"Nothing", she replied as usual shaking her head. Her beautiful large eyes looked at him but she appeared lost elsewhere. He held her palm in his, caressed it for a while and looked at her again gathering his strength to speak but his words got stuck somewhere deep in his throat. He gulped air and fought hard to speak

"I am sorry." He blurted as he exhaled the air.

"Am really sorry, Naina." He said aloud again in an apologetic voice.

"Since long I wanted to say this but just didn't have the courage to say it." He looked at her for her reaction but her eyes though stuck on his face seemed distant.

"Hunn....", she replied suddenly waking up from her reverie. Her eyes fluttered.

"Are you, Ok." He asked as he squeezed her hand gently.

"Yaa,...It's ok, no need to be sorry", she replied without any expression. He felt light as he heard those words though they were mere words. A heavy load was off his chest instantly. He looked at her and again tried to gather his strength to ask his final question. A question that had troubled him ever since he had heard her first say. And each time she had repeated it to him with a teasing smile, it had stabbed his heart.

"Naina, I am sorry. I know, this is not the right time to ask but if you won't answer this question it will keep haunting me until death." He said.

"Ya, say", she replied in a concerned voice.

"Please......please tell me why you used to say that you wanted me to die first." He looked at her for an answer as if his life depended on that answer.

"Is that the reason why you had left....?" She asked him instead, looking straight into his eyes for the first time in the last fifteen minutes. He avoided her questioning eyes but the question which had tormented him long convulsed inside.

"Naina, please. There isn't much time left and I want you to answer before....." He pleaded.

"Till now I couldn't find a convincing answer to that question. Every girl says that she would like to die first and wishes her guy to live longer than her but why you always said that you wanted me to die first. Didn't you ever love me?" She looked at him with sympathy and smiled faintly. Each passing moment tortured his soul as he felt that the answer was drifting away from him.

After a pause she replied. "That's coz i didn't want you to feel the pain of dying a lonely death. I wanted to die later only to hold you in my arms when you would breathe your last. So, that you wouldn't feel alone, loveless and......"

Even before she had completed her sentence suddenly her breath became fast. Her face contorted in pain and the machine attached to her heart began to beep loud.

He stood up in an alarm and kept looking at her as the once calm eyes began to glisten with tears and she struggled to breathe....

An attendant rushed to the room and shouted for the nurse. A couple of nurses with a doctor immediately barged into the room. They asked him to leave as they hovered around her in panic.

He stood outside the room looking inside through the glass. He felt angry at his great loss. He punched the wall in anger and frustration as he had failed to understand what he had been seeking all his life.

A Question

2010-11-12T13:52:00.000+05:30

Q. Why do good girls always end up last?

P.S. This question is applicable to boys, also. What is the reason? Is it because they are not ready to compromise on their ideals or they are not ready to do just anything to climb up or they are less calculative or are they dumb.......???

Lights, crackers and action...

2010-11-04T21:52:00.002+05:30

Today as the sun gathers its last rays in the far west to give its final bow to the day,
Cities and towns drown with sounds of crackers and celebration.
Kids wait in anticipation for their fathers to return,
Old and tired eyes watch the paths that might lead their sons and daughters back home from far off lands.

As the night grows silhouettes of houses brighten,
Little diyas charm the corners of the house,
Sky illuminates with millions of crackers bursting into colourful twinkling stars,
Smoke and smell of cracker fills the air.
Hugs, sweets and smiles greets the air
As relatives, friends and foes,
Gather and fight with a deck of cards.
Wasted with bhang,
Win and loss ceases to matter.
At the end of the brightest night,
Nothing remains,
Except heaps of ash, half burnt candles, blackened diyas, half-eaten boxes of sweets,
Hearts filled with love and blessings, and
Memories of the day well-spent with family, friends and foes.

Wish you all a Happy and prosperous Diwali !!
May this Diwali add cheer, lots of love and blessings to you life.

Not quite an Interview

2010-10-25T11:05:00.002+05:30

They asked, "Is it your story?"

"How does it matter, Whose story it is?", The story teller answered.

Why do you write?

To tell a tale.

What is the aim of your writing? Do you wish to achieve anything through your writings?

I am interested only in telling the tale, rest is useless and futile.

Does that mean that you are a complacent writer?

Is there something called a 'complacent lover'??

I write because I love to write and love cannot be forced upon. It should come to you willingly. I can't coerce my pen just to satisfy a few hungry minds. So, if that makes me a 'complacent writer' then so be it.

How much of your writings are based on real life or has autobiographical elements in it?

There is something of us in each of our writings. Period.

There is a striking resemblance between some of the characters and situations in your stories/novels and your life. People say that the character 'Kalpurush' is based on you. How far it is true?

There might be a few resemblances as I have already said that there is something of us in each of our writings but it is difficult for an author to differentiate the real from the unreal or the unreal from the real; for he lives and breathes many lives in his head along with his own. It is only the hand that wields the pen knows where the line blurs and where imagination meets reality.

Any message for the readers and your admirers?

Read the tale not the teller.

Crumbling

2010-10-15T11:35:00.000+05:30

Restlessness is back like the daily newspaper which misses me more than i miss him. Life is strange which has an unusual way of revealing the truth to you. Those little truths makes one feel like a dry leaf fallen off the branch which is at the mercy of wind and breeze. Crumbling at the feet of life, lifted by wind and reduced to dust with time.

Whispering Rain

2010-10-07T22:45:00.014+05:30

It was a summery night. She was lying down, resting her back on a rock with lower half of her body snuggling in the flowing river. Dry breeze played with her hair gently, curtaining her face with stray strands that wafted in breeze like the notes of music. Moon smiled at her from above but the clouds were cruel enough to pull Moon back into them. Moon was equally naughty. Like a playful child she just wouldn't stay still and made them chase her, till they were tired and stopped for a while gasping for breath like old men allowing her to stand afar and watch them with a glee. The game went on and she watched them delightfully as her feet played with water. The silver anklet kept swimming around her ankle silenced for once by the gurgling sound of river. She found the cool water running over her body better than being locked in an AC room.

She looked at the Moon peeping from the clouds. The sight was so beauteous that her lips parted inadvertently to recite Rabindranath but quickly she pursed her lips on realizing that her rendition might not do justice to a great Bard like him. Instead, she let the wind and river create the music of night. The cool flowing water, the dry breeze, the moonlight, the hard rock, the sound of the river, the solitude and her pristine beauty melting into the night seemed just perfect until the dark monstrous clouds gobbled Moon with a thunder and her cloudy friends cried in dollops with a moan.

The colour of the night changed suddenly with the coming of the sinister clouds. Playfulness gave way to seduction. Night turned from silvery to ebony yet it remained as alluring as ever. She lay there savouring the gentle and hard kisses of mighty and tiny droplets. Water gushed on her that was gently lapping till now; even then she lay unmoved with her eyes closed. There was chill in the air and was drenched to the core yet she felt so warm. The warmth grew in her numbing her to the chill around and the icy droplets. This made her feel uneasy and she opened her eyes to see. The heavens roared in anger at her and blinded her furiously. She woke up with a jolt only to find herself drenched in her own sweat in bed. "Huh...another dream", she whined. There was no power and she scrambled in darkness to find herself. She could still hear the heavens roaring and the window panes flapped against the wall in unison with its jarring tone. It was raining outside. She ran to the window to catch shower. Thick and mighty droplets kissed her skin, waking her senses to the elements of nature. And, she knew that the night was back with its dark intentions...

Re-construction

2010-10-01T01:47:00.000+05:30

                                 Creating new memories
                                                      to erase old ones.
                                 Covering old wounds
                                                      with new ones.

Bye Bye Handsome Prince...

2010-09-26T00:09:00.003+05:30

I just love this song by Tata Young from her album "I Believe". I was a bit disappointed by the video, I wish it had done more justice to the lyrics. Anyways, Enjoy the song!

Lyrics
When I was just a little girl
My momma used to tuck me into bed
And she read me a story
It always was about a Princess
In distress and how a guy would save her
And end up with the glory

I'd lie in bed and think about the person that I wanted to be
Then one day I realized the fairy tale life wasn't for me

[Chorus]
I don't wanna be like Cinderella
Sitting in a dark old dusty cellar
Waiting for somebody to come and set me free
I don't wanna be like Snow White, waiting
For a handsome prince to come and save me
On a horse of white, unless we're riding side by side
Don't want to depend on no one else
I'd rather rescue myself

Someday I'm gonna find someone
Who wants my soul, heart and mind
Who's not afraid to show that he loves me
Somebody who will understand
I'm happy just the way I am
Don't need nobody taking care of me

(I will be)
I will be there for him
Just as strong as he will be there for me
When I give myself then
It has got to be an equal thing

[Chorus]

I can slay my own dragon
I can dream my own dreams
My knight in shining armour is me
So I'm gonna set me free

[Chorus]

Silent Spectator

2010-09-19T12:28:00.002+05:30

I can see what lies in the beyond...
I can decipher the secrets of the unknown...
It is so difficult being a human and yet share the divinity of the immortals.

I can see what lies in the beyond,
Which your mortal eyes cannot.
Wish i could tell you...
The secrets of the soul.
Bearing the curse of life,
I can only watch you
Make those follies.
For you see no reason
And laugh at my counsel.
My heart wants to protect you from every pain
But you seem to court only that.
I know you will blame me for
Hiding the truth from you
And gifting you a painful moment
But you will hardly ever know
That i lived every moment in pain so that i could
Free you from it.
My head stops me from such transgressions
Though my heart longs
To embrace the punishment that it would ensue.

The Magi and She

2010-09-12T13:59:00.013+05:30

She went to him to know the cause of her illness.
"What ails your heart?", he asked feeling her pulse.
"Nothing", she replied.
He lifted her chin and looked deep into her eyes. She flinched a bit.
"I guess, i know." He answered in a discerning voice.
"What?" She asked getting curious.
"Nothing." He replied.

P.S. It doesn't strictly fall into the category of 55 fiction except in word limit. So, please don't judge it on the same parameters, just read it and enjoy.

Soul Ripper

2010-09-02T03:47:00.006+05:30

How deftly
and
With surgical precision
You use
Your words to
Shear not just the heart
But mind and body,
All together.

Shredding them
to unrecognizable entities,
You watch
With Pleasure,
The Other
wreathe in confusion and pain.
As you make
Your cold moves
With sadistic overtures.....

P.S. Thanks to Compassion Unlimited for suggesting the word "Ripper" for the title.

Bliss Interrupted

2010-08-23T03:42:00.005+05:30

My room is cold. Even layers of clothes fail to keep me warm. Outside its drizzling. Still, I feel like going out for a stroll and have tea at a roadside stall. Watch life flow in multitudes while sipping tea but I wonder if it will it be a quiet watch 'cause there will be unquiet eyes watching me with strange thoughts.

Will the scene be any different if my gender was that of a man?
Will those 'unquiet eyes' still be drawn towards me?

Sleeping Beauty

2010-08-16T23:50:00.001+05:30

Whatever is in the past
Belongs to the past
Let them rest
On faded sheets
Gathering dust of time.

Wake them not for
they are the step-mothers of today.

Adiós, my sweetheart

2010-08-08T01:34:00.010+05:30

I don't know where to begin. I am at a loss of words. My friend A. asked me to write it down but it was the last thing i wanted do. The pain and loss is personal so I did not want to write about it on a public domain. No idea, why i am still putting it down. Probably because she was persistent that it may lessen my grief or maybe i myself wanted to purge my feelings that i had kept it bundled up inside me all these days since the fateful day. But, can it lessen the grief? I have no idea. With each passing day it has been growing on me and the void stares back hauntingly.

This is for my li'l sis who left us on last Tuesday, 3rd August. She was my cousin but she meant to me more than words can express. I am still trying to grapple with the fact that she is no more. I was making elaborate plans and was waiting eagerly to meet her. Somehow i wasn't able to meet her when i had been home last time. I feel guilty that i had not made enough effort to meet her, had i then......

Life and death are the two truths of life, agreed but no amount of reasoning seem to console me or justify her death. She was only seven years old. Why SHE? is my only question. I wish i could move the hands of time backwards. I would have clasped her to my soul and wouldn't have allowed her to go away even for a second. I wish i could exchange places with her and comfort the grieving souls.

Bye my sweet angel. May your soul rest in peace.
Meet you soon...
Adios...

Friday Fiction #1 - Part 2

2010-07-25T15:14:00.024+05:30

Part 1 : For those who missed out the first part.

Part 2 :

She stood there for a minute with her back against the door. Trying to control her emotions with her eyes closed. When her emotions belied her little wish, she took a deep sigh and tried to de-clutter her mind of all the thoughts, that had given her sleepless nights for the last six months. To convince herself that it would be wise to move on and take control of her life rather than wait for him to have a change of heart (probably it was too late for that to happen). But, the matters of the heart are so complicated that no amount of reasoning would allow any sense to prevail on self. Smiling at her own fate mockingly, she walked towards the mahogany desk and pulled out a set of papers from her purse. Went through the pages carefully and signed on each of them. She took a deep sigh as she had a last look at it and felt satisfied with whatever was written on it. Raathi had done a good job and he couldn't be thanked more for his caliber. She felt relieved as another set of papers were safe with him just in case....

She threw herself on the bed and tried to rest her tired body. It had been an exhausting and an eventful day as she had tried her best to wrap up things. Ah! she was supposed to call her parents, she had told them that she would call them in the evening. Quickly she reached for her phone before she could forget.

"Hello, maa."

"Hellooo, who is this?"

"Its Taashi here, maa." She said loudly.

"Oh, Taashi beta. How are you? I have been waiting for your call since afternoon."

"Haan...i was busy. Sorry, couldn't call you before. How is baba and you?"

"We are fine. Sri is also fine. Nandu has become so naughty these days. He has begun to crawl and is naughty just like Sri."

"Hmm...give my regards to Nandu, Sri and Sia. Is baba there? Wanted to speak to him."

"No, baba has gone out. Is everything alright? How is Tapan?

"Yaa, everything is fine maa. He is fine and doing good." She tried to lie her best cautiously as every parent have an uncanny way of knowing if there is anything wrong with their children..

"When will baba come back?" She asked in desperation as she longed to hear her father's voice for it was only him who understood her best.

"Don't know beta. See na, he doesn't listen to us at all. He doesn't even take care of his health. You are the only one to whom he listens. You only talk to him and make him understand."

"Acha, suno(listen). Deven's mother was saying that there is a mahrishi who is very renowned for..."

"...maa, i will talk to you later there is an urgent call coming." She quickly interrupted her mother even before her mother could complete her sentence. She was tired of her mother suggesting her to see this or that godman.

"Ok...beta." Her mother replied disappointed. "Will inform baba that you had called. Anyways, its of no use telling you anything. Bhalo theko (take care)" She hung the phone saying this in a dejected tone.

She felt bad for interrupting her mother like that and ending the call halfway. She loved her mother but couldn't take in anymore of her mahrishi remedies. She felt sad for hurting her mother. She knew that her mother had already sensed that she had pretended about the phone call.

She was having a mild headache. She tried to relax her mind but somehow she couldn't, Tapan's question kept gonging in her head. She tried not to think of anything but thoughts are like wanton wanderers they do not allow ones mind to rest. By now the mild headache had turned into a throbbing one. She turned and kept a pillow over her head but even that didn't help divert her mind from it. Well, it was a question she had to face it whether she liked it or not. She popped a crocin and switched on her ipod, allowing music to drown her thoughts....loosing herself to the words....words which echoed the tale of her life....
Saare gharonde ret ke
Lehrein aayi, lehron mein beh gayi...
(castles of sand, waves came, washed them away...)

(Song "Lehrein" from the movie Aisha)

to be continued...

P.S. Thanks for the comments on my last post. Each of them meant a lot to me. Thanks to everybody once again. Hope you all enjoy the 2nd part and the song. Suggestions and feedback are welcome.

Kya Konnection hai?

2010-07-15T14:09:00.025+05:30

Ever wondered.....(these days am wondering a lot. 'Wondering' seems to be figuring in almost all my posts these days. Hmmm....Time to improve my vocabulary :D)

Anyways back to my wondering and wandering (thought-wise) ways. Have you ever wondered what makes you connect with people, things, places, events, etc. I am sure you must have done it at some point of time.

There have been times when strangers come up to me and begin sharing about their personal lives with me. It makes me wonder if it's my face, the look in my eyes or my cute ears (lolzz) that makes these people open up to a complete stranger like me. I wonder what made them connect with me that moment and lay themselves bare (metaphorically). It can be unfamiliarity which makes it easier for them to open up coz then one is not in a position to judge them and also because there are slim chances that they would ever meet them at any point in future. There have been times when i have thought about it but not that seriously but recently one incident made me question myself as to what makes me connect with others. I was talking to some people and listening to their stories. Suddenly in the middle of the conversation one of them remarked that there was something that had made me come that far and listen to their stories. On hearing her i was a bit taken aback because i just didn't know how to react to her words then or if that was the only reason that had taken me there. Since, then i have been thinking about it. So, what is it that makes one connect with others,

Is it...

the similarity that one shares with another person?

the difference?

something mystical?

pain?

need or want?

desire?

unfamiliarity?

strange familiarity with a new place that makes you long to go back to that place?
memories?

There are different things that makes one connect with the same thing in different situations. There are things with which one can connect in only one way and it can be so strong that one can feel drawn to it without any reason. But at times there have been people with whom the connection is so strong at one moment that it may make one think that it would never break but strangely the very next moment its gone and one is left baffled as to what it was that had drawn them together. Was it fate or destiny or a sheer coincidence?

So, what is it that makes you connect with others?

Comments on my last post made me a bit curious as to what has made so many people follow my blog though i had not networked much to promote my blog. I feel humbled that despite that i have enough of followers to brag about though my write-ups aren't that good as compared to some of my fellow bloggers (he he....coz i hadn't even imagined when i had started that i would have this many). On a curious note, i would love to know what is it that makes you connect with this blog if at all it does.

Number Game

2010-06-21T12:30:00.012+05:30

1, 25, 50, 75, 100.....

Wondering what these numbers signify or have some of you already guessed it. For the ones who haven't been able to figure it out, you can carry on a bit more with the guessing game.

Pondering...

Numbers....numbers...numbers....its everywhere. Whether you are literate or illiterate you can't avoid them be it the subzi-mandi (vegetable market), bus-stop, kitchen, calender, tombstone,....coz our life itself begins with numbers and we keep counting till our last breath.

How much do we value these numbers or do we allow these numbers to rule our lives? Apart from the first digit rest all are the multiples of 5. Still haven't got a clue of what i am talking about. Well, you will in a couple of minutes...

We give so much of value to the starting and ending points but forget the mid-way. Only certain dates or numbers seem to have value or significance for some of us, rest of the numbers loses its significance. What i am hinting at is the significance of certain numbers such as 1st, 25th, 50, 100 and so on. We measure or assess our lives or things at such numerical intervals, rest of the time we prefer to enjoy our sweet slumber. We tend to make a person feel special only on their b'days or anniversaries or special days like mother's day or father's day and then we coolly forget them until the same day next year.

Let not this happen. Lets not get stuck with only certain numbers and days. Let us celebrate each day and each moment with the same enthusiasm and excitement.

This is my 51st post so let me too enjoy the joys that my blogobaby has brought me.

There are a couple of awards that my blogopals have conferred on me. I am able to put up only a few of them here due to paucity of time. Will put up the rest later, sorry for the delay.

Thanks to Ayu for the followers award.

Thanks to Makk for giving me the following Blog Buddy Awards. Oh! I love the Calvin n Hobbes one :)

The Blogger Buddy award goes to Being Pramoda, The Survivor, Vivek of Neckercubicle, Sid of Sidspeakz

Best Blogging Buddies Award goes to tjlubrano, purplepuppet, Brian Miller, Ayu and Kevin

The Awesome blog buddy award goes to Makk (i hope you won't mind getting this one back from me ;p) , Sunil, Ashwin and Ashu.

Thanks to The Survivor for the Beautiful Blogger and The Circle of Friends awards. They came as a complete surprise to me. Thanks Friend.

The rules for these two awards are:
1) Thank the person who gave you this award. (Thank you 'The Survivor')

2) Share 7 things about yourself/you find beautiful.
3) Pass the award along to 5 bloggers who you have recently discovered and who you think are fantastic!
4) Contact the bloggers you've picked and let them know about the award

The Beautiful Blogger award goes to the ones i admire the most Saibarman, Sunil, Balvinder Singh, Mitusingh, Bikramjit and Ravi lobo.

The Circle of friends award goes to all my readers, commentators and followers because without them it would not have been possible to go on with this bologojourney. Their words of encouragement even a single word and as simple as 'nice' has been enough to keep me afloat and going. Thanks a ton to each one of them.

P.S. I am not following the rules strictly. I will do the tag sometime later. It will be a bit difficult to inform each of the recipients individually so if i miss out anybody then plz excuse me.

Friday Fiction #1

2010-06-11T23:55:00.059+05:30

"You had gone to meet Raathi", he asked as she kept the car keys on the table.

"Hmm...", she just hummed instead of giving any definite answer.

"So, you want divorce. Is that the reason why you had gone to see him?" He probed her further with a sarcastic smile. "Don't forget. He is my friend, first and then a lawyer." He added.

"....*sigh*...I don't want to divorce you....Juss want to free you from ME." She replied with a choked and tired voice.

"What will you do after that?". He asked as he sipped his drink from the glass without shifting his gaze from her. Just then his phone rang. She knew it was her.

"Hi! Love, I will call you back in a minute." He answered hurriedly with a smile.

Her heart wrenched in pain as she heard him address Her as 'love'. She glanced at him with tearful eyes and left without answering his question. She shut the door behind her. She wanted him to stop her but she knew he wouldn't. She hoped, hoped badly for him to barge into the room and draw her into his arms. Kiss her madly and say, "I am sorry. It was a mistake, it won't happen again. It was all a mistake." But nothing of that sort happened. She was so right about him but for once she hoped to be wronged so badly.

P.S. My second attempt at writing fiction. I know am terrible in writing but just gave it a another shot. Hope its not complete crap and makes some sense. Couldn't think of an apt title so haven't titled it. Suggestions are welcome.

Surprise...

2010-05-31T22:37:00.001+05:30

Life is full of surprises.

I kept waiting for it.......but it never came my way...

Perhaps.....it was meant to be that way.

Just a passing thought...

2010-05-21T13:00:00.000+05:30

When we are young, we feel that we are invincible and nothing can break us. Our bosom swells with self-pride and our ego shines like steel.
But the wise will say that ultimately its only Time which can tell us whether we have survived the ravages of time and the harsh trials of life. And whether we will manage to remain strong and shine at the end of all these tribulations.

Just wondering...

One can somehow protect ones spirit from getting rusted and still shine like steel.
But,
How can one protect ones inner being from getting corroded by lust , greed, want, selfishness, covetousness and.....(the list is endless)?
How can one save self from succumbing to temptation and from selling ones soul to the devil?
Human mind is forever torn between reason and passion. What is it that can guide our mind and soul towards truth and wisdom?

It is not that we do not know the answers to the above questions; several thinkers, philosophers, sages and men and women of great wisdom have already shared their reflections on it with the world.
But,
Why is it that despite Knowledge we still choose to make similar follies as our predecessors?

Zakhm

2010-05-15T22:42:00.000+05:30

Zakhm hai ki bharte nahi
Lakh chahun par
Ye ankhen hain ki thamte hi nahi...

Nind hai ki aati nahi
Lakh chahun par
Ye yaadein hai ki jaate hi nahi...

(Below is not the exact translation of the above lines but a similar expression. The lines are incomplete as I am still working on it. Still i have put it up here so that non-hindi readers get a feel of what is written above. Suggestions are welcome for improvisation.)

These wounds don't seem to heal ever
No matter how much i try
Tears don't stop rolling...

My life is not just my own design.....

2010-05-07T09:38:00.005+05:30

No one can live a life apart
Untouched by other lives
As well one might attempt
To paint a picture in
One tone with no detail
Of shade and light;
Or play a melody with
Just a lonely note.

My life is not just
My own design but
part of all the rest
that pass my way,
And each of these
is part of mine.
~ Unknown

These are my favourite lines, had discovered them on a bookmark. Whenever i read it or recall these words, it has a humbling effect on me as it constantly reminds me that i can never lay claims on self or take complete credit for what i am today coz there is something that i have learned from each and every person that i have met in my life or had a brief encounter with (virtual and real). Be it the little kid i met at the airport or the little conversation that i had with a complete stranger while travelling by train. This post is dedicated to each one of them (known and unknown faces) and i thank them for adding different hues to my life.

Forgotten

2010-04-13T11:03:00.044+05:30

Immortality is my curse....

For i am still a mortal in your thoughtsworld.

P.S. I'll be off for a while so savor my absence till am back to bug u all again :p Will miss you folks.

Bewitched

2010-04-07T03:09:00.004+05:30

Photo courtesy: Self clicked
English Translation:
Your movement
Adds jingle
In the darkness of the night

Your twinklings
Is music
To the ears of my love.
~ Shas

P.S. The title isn't that apt but when i saw those earrings that was the only word that came to my mind and made me think of those lines (hindi originally).

PLAGIARISTS n COPYCATS please stay away from my blog.

Playing God

2010-03-29T22:43:00.007+05:30

I breathe onto dry leaves
Playing God
Thinking of resurrecting them
from their crumbling sleep.

They did not wake up
but rustled away
Stating they had left my world
Alas i forgot
I was a mortal, too.

P.S. I had published this post before but had removed it the same day. So, re-publishing it for those who had missed it.

Am guilty...

2010-03-19T08:52:00.009+05:30

The tag name is Innocent..or Guilty?

I thank Amrit for tagging me and am sorry for attempting it so late. After doing this tag i realised that am more guilty than innocent coz i broke the rules (am only supposed to answer guilty or innocent which i didn't)....lolzzz. I tag Chocolate lover, Necker cubicle, Meow, Shalini, Chandrama, The Aspirant, UL, sm, windowlad, ashu, sam, Raaji and all those who want to attempt it.

Rules

RULE 1- You can only say Guilty or Innocent.

RULE 2- You are not allowed to explain anything unless someone messages you and asks!

RULE 3- Copy and paste this into your notes, delete my answers, type in your answers and tag to your friends to answer this.

Asked someone to marry you? Guilty
Ever kissed someone of the same sex? Innocent
Danced on a table in a bar? Innocent
Ever told a lie? Guilty
Had feelings for someone whom you can’t have back? Guilty
Kissed a picture? Guilty
Slept in until 5 PM? Guilty.......thats coz i slept at 3pm.
Fallen asleep at work/school? Innocent
Held a snake? Guilty n innocent (held a wooden one :b ...too terrified to even imagine holding a real one)
Been suspended from school? Innocent
Worked at a fast food restaurant? Innocent
Stolen from a store? Innocent
Been fired from a job? Innocent
Done something you regret? Guilty...I wish i could undo some.
Laughed until something you were drinking came out your nose? Innocent
Caught a snowflake on your tongue? Innocent
Kissed in the rain? Innocent......waiting for it to happen ;b
Sat on a roof top? Guilty
Kissed someone you shouldn’t? Guilty
Sang in the shower? Guilty
Been pushed into a pool with all your clothes on? Innocent
Shaved your head? Guilty
Had a boxing membership? Innocent
Made a boyfriend cry? Guilty
Been in a band? Guilty
Shot a gun? Guilty
Donated Blood? Innocent.....tried several times but they always sent me back home.
Eaten alligator meat? Innocent
Eaten cheesecake? Innocent
Still love someone you shouldn’t? Guilty
Have/had a tattoo? Innocent
Liked someone, but will never tell who? Guilty
Been too honest? Guilty
Ruined a surprise? Guilty
Ate in a restaurant and got really bloated that you couldn’t walk afterward? Guilty
Erased someone in your friends list? Guilty
Dressed in a woman’s clothes (if you’re a guy) or man’s clothes (if you’re a girl)? Guilty.....had dressed up as a Mexican guy for a dance in school :D
Joined a pageant? Innocent
Been told that you’re handsome or beautiful by someone who totally meant what they said? Guilty
Had communication with your ex? Guilty
Got totally drunk on the night before exam? Innocent
Got totally angry that you cried so hard? Guilty

Purr...ing Hunger...

2010-03-11T13:30:00.004+05:30

Perched on a window sill
SHE purrs her way in
More punctual than the clock on the wall.
With expectant eyes SHE announces
"Its time to feed HER".
SHE waits,
Salivating with anticipation.

Her mistress kneels with
A bowlful of HER favourites
Feeding HER with care
Expecting HER to return her affection
With a gentle purr.
But SHE with her mouth full
Looks elsewhere
Carelessly
Lost in HER own musings.

Quickly,
She smacks HER mouth clean.
With a flickr of HER tongue
Moistens HER mouth
For the second feed
As she looks up to her mistress again

With HER hunger satiated
She goes back to HER corner
With an ungrateful look
All curled up
SHE goes back to her favourite passtime
Minutes pass
Hours roll by
The clock waits
Waits to be corrected by HER
And be the spectator of Her spectacle
Again.

P.S. For all cat lovers. Dedicated to A, a colleague and a friend of mine who is no more. His feline love always amazed and amused me.

Shades of Joy and Sadness

2010-02-27T05:46:00.019+05:30

Festival time is the time when the atmosphere is filled with joy and celebrations. Suddenly there is mirth and excitement in the air, all that is boring and mundane disappears. Everyone is busy with shopping, sweet preparations, making guests list, planning a trip to home, meeting up relatives and friends. This weekend there are two feasts, Mawlid al-Nabi and Holi. Its like a bumper weekend which will be filled with lots of fun n frolic. And for once all those who have weekend hangovers or hate mondays can rejoice coz monday is a holiday.

Amongst all this hulla-bulla, am a bit lost. This time my heart has become immune to all the happiness that is floating around. Somehow the spirit of festivity has not been able to sink in me. Not because am away from home or because am not that religious. I know the reason. I know it deep down in my heart and it has been disturbing me for long. Wanted to speak about it long back but remained silent. Not because i lack the courage to speak but because i wanted to think deep and reflect, wanted to understand some of the things which is beyond my control.

How can i celebrate when i have lost a dear one?

How can i celebrate when my house is in darkness?

How can i celebrate when my mother is weeping?

How can i celebrate when my path is drenched with my own blood?

How can i celebrate when my brother was burned to death while he was busy protecting another brother of mine?

How can i celebrate when my family was massacred just because they went to pray in a building that was different from mine?

How can i celebrate when my brother does not let me enter his house just because i belong to a different region?

I don't know the name, age, gender, religion, colour, region of the dear one that i lost to human greed. I have not seen his/her face still my heart bleeds for him/her. Of what use is this life if i cannot share my joys and sorrows with my brothers and sisters. Do we have to be related in order to treat another person as a part of our family? Each day we watch the dance of death on the television and read it in the newspapers. Does it affect us in any way or have we begun to view it as a part of normal life? If it is so then nothing can be more abnormal than this. If we will go on bathing in each-others blood then soon we may become an endangered species. Humans are a social being and they cannot exist in isolation. ME is nothing but WE. All this time we have been mistaking WE to be THEM. But think and see properly. Mirror never lies. Look at yourself in the mirror.

///////////

It was him/her yesterday. Today it can be ME.

If you will be able to see Tomorrow then think yourself to be lucky. God forbid, but tomorrow if you will meet the same fate as my dear one. I will not be there to shed a tear for you or write a post like this.

P.S. Some may think that this is not the right time to discuss such serious issues especially on a happy occasion like this but how long can we go on pretending that everything is fine and keep turning a blind eye to it. Festivals are a happy distraction. I hope that we don't forget all those who have lost their dear ones. Festivals bring hope. I hope that it reinstates Hope in human hearts. With a heavy heart I wish you all a Happy Mawlid al-Nabi and Happy Holi. May the colour of love and brotherhood wipe out the sadness and evil from our hearts though we will never be able to see our dear ones again. May their death be a reminder to us that violence does no good. Please remember them in your prayers.With a prayer on our lips and hope in our hearts lets rebuild and heal human lives.

Pic1: www.nonziescraps.com/.../mawlid-al-nabi-scraps/

The End

2010-02-19T23:28:00.002+05:30

Everything has come to a crashing end.
Days of anxiety and confusion
Is over
Finally Over.
Yet scared to utter the word 'Finally'
Freedom embraces to console
Yet sadness looms above
Uncertainty floats
But joy is not far
Its just that the moment pricks
It bleeds not
But it troubles
A nagging pain
That splinters laughter into
Thousand of tiny broken glasses
Each piece mirroring
The dance of Fate.

A glint of hope peeps from far
Far far away
Like another sunrise
That waits to devour the darkness
A wait that seems endless
Yet a wait worth waiting
To end
The End.

The Lost case

2010-02-10T12:50:00.006+05:30

He looked at her patiently.

She stared down, afraid to look into his eyes.

"This cannot happen. It is not right", she said.

"What is not right?"

She looked up to explain but the confidence in his eyes made her feel shaky.

Never she had lost a case but today she was unable to win her argument. Unable to make him understand the gravity of things, frustrated she left in a huff.

"Hey......what happened?"

"Am going. Just go away."

"Why? What happened?........Where are you going?"

He moved towards her. She walked away fast.

Hey wait. Why are you running away?

He shouted with tears in his eyes, "Why are you running away from the truth? Are you afraid to fall in love AGAIN or afraid to fall in love with someone younger to you."

She stopped. STUNNED by the truth.

P.S. I tried to write this fiction though am not good at story writing. Don't know whether it was predictable right from the beginning or i was able to hold the surprise a bit. Its been inspired by one of the serials i had seen (can't remember the the title of the serial) when at home about the concept of an older girl falling in love with a younger guy. Do let me know your views about this piece. Suggestions are welcome. Love is in the air. Wish you all a Happy Valentine's Day in advance.

I wish...

2010-02-04T02:21:00.001+05:30

I wish...
I could go far away.
Free from deadlines, electricity bills, stalkers...
Free from every care, far away from the prying eyes.
I wish...
I could lie down on a grassy field. Wrapped in solitude and pastoral bliss.

Hear my own heartbeat. Feel the cold breeze on my face. Look into the wide eyes of the blue expanse and say here i come with my arms flung wide open. See the vast blue stare back at me silently and shamelessly. Watch the sky turn from blue to crimson to ebony. Let the darkness snatch me away from the summer light and seduce me by sprinkling millions of diamonds in the sky. Let the moon come out of its hiding and play hide and seek with me. Let him bathe me with his silvery presence turning me into princess of the night. Let the singers of the night sing their songs and put me to sleep in the nature's lap.

Tormented

2010-01-20T21:26:00.002+05:30

In the deepest hour
of night,
darkness wakes up the demons
chained within my heart and mind
from their slumber.

They wake up
to torment
and terrorize.

They chase away my sleep.
Punishing me with sleepless nights
for reasons unknown.

Every second weighs like tons,
I carry them on my shoulders.
Like a bonded labour
to unknown destination.

I tremble with fever,
fatigue and pain.
Cold and cough shake me up violently
still they show no mercy.

They watch me drag every moment
with demonic smiles.

My cheeks are wet
don’t know
whether they are tears or sweat
Both taste the same.

I eagerly wait for
the first rays of the Sun
for then
shall my torment end.

When the two demons
shall leave me free
called
Loneliness and Emptiness.

P.S. Due to lack of time am unable to write anything new. So, am publishing one of my earlier posts with a few alterations.
Hope you will enjoy it.

Mehfil

2010-01-12T12:41:00.006+05:30

Naa shama chahiye
Naa parwane chahiye
Bas kuch tute hue dil chahiye
Sama toh yunhi bandh jaata hai.

Jaam ki kya jaroorat
Hum toh gum peete hain
Bas aankhon me todi nami chahiye
Mehfil toh yunhi jam jaati hai.

First Post of the Year 2010 !!

2010-01-08T18:41:00.017+05:30

New Year
New Post
New Day
New Life
Yes,
A re-newed life
Coz
Its my B'day.
A quiet B'day
With family, pets, plants and bricks.

I look around
I see
A mound of rubble
Piles of brick
Sand, cement
Broken tiles

Half-built structure
Workers running around.
Hands moving fast
Laying bricks over another.

I wonder
Whats my life like,
Is it?
The half-built structure
Or
A pile of rubble.

I sit
Near the blazing wood
With a mug of coffee
Thinking
Whether my life was lived well
Or did i drag it to the well.

I think
Its 'The' time to ponder
And wonder,
Yonder
Shall i wander.

I ask
What to do?
What is the value of my life?
What is my 'karma' for which i was born?

I hear
Someone calling
From far.
The burning wood breathes its last
I sip the last drop from my cup
And stand up
To go
The call gets louder.

I realise
As i wake up from my reverie.
Its my mother
Calling me
To supervise the laboureres.

     This is what i had written on New Year day but i couldn't post it that day as i didn't have access to the internet. So, am posting it now with a few modifications. Its a bit juvenile but couldn't help getting poetic so am putting it in its original form rather than go prosaic. New Year is always special for me because its my birthday. I wanted to be at home on my birthday with my parents and luckily my work gave me enough reasons to stop at my hometown which otherwise would have been difficult though i was travelling all around. I am happy to watch my house slowly rise into a dream house from an undefined structure. It is still under construction so, it was fun instructing and assisting the labourers. I enjoyed interacting with the head mason, he was so receptive and creative. He may not be literate but he had plenty of ideas which were impressive. Its sad that very often we treat the illiterate or the labour class as valueless and label them as dumb.
      I was sitting outside and looking at the structure fondly when i wrote this so called poem. Being home itself was a treat for me. I like my birthday to be quiet and generally i become reflective and tend to take a stock of my life lived so far. I wonder what is life all about and what it's true worth. It puzzles me each moment. as the drama of life and death keep unfolding before my eyes in innumerable forms. Recently i survived two accidents which could have turned fatal. I haven't recovered fully from the shock because in one of the accidents i had come close to losing my mother. I shudder with fear each time i remember that moment. I feel blessed and fortunate that my parents are safe and with me. I can imagine now what my friend must have gone through when he lost his mother last year. I don't need any birthday gift as they are the greatest treasure of my life. Am glad that on this birthday i splurged on my parents rather than they on me and I feel like spoiling them more often.
   Muaaah.....to all my near and dear ones and to all my blogo pals. Probably its their love and blessings that has kept me safe. Feel happy to be alive and back on this space. Lets create the magic once again!!!

Feeling

On top of the World!

P.S. Wish you all a very Happy and a prosperous New Year!!

Hope you all will like the new template. I wanted my blog to don a new look for the new year so i changed it. Hoping this one will take less time to load. If there is any problem viewing the page then plz let me know.

Christmas Cheer !!!

2009-12-24T12:55:00.007+05:30

Wish you all a jolly and a Merry Christmas.

May this season of hope and cheer fill your life with lots of joy and blessings.

Enjoy the goodies!

and

Wish you all a Rocking New Year!!

With lots of Love n hugs!!

P.S. Will be away for a while if things work out.

Plz feed my fishes when am away else they will die.

Will miss you all.

Take care n have fun!!

From Chaos to Freedom...

2009-12-10T01:09:00.006+05:30

Chaos is the most apt word to describe the state of my mind and the world around that i was in since the last fifteen days (actually last six months). It was a testing time for me. Swinging from certainty to uncertainty, I was going crazy and losing my patience. A bit of anger helped me solve the situation (at times bad things in right measure can turn good, I realized). I am feeling as if am born again since the time of crisis is over as this is also the beginning of new phase in my life. I am quite excited and feeling as if my New Year has begun way before the actual New Year. Am associating it with New Year because it’s gonna be a new start for me. The kind of excitement and joy that precedes the beginning of a new year is similar to the joy that am experiencing at the moment. I didn’t know that I required this change soooo badly until now. There are times when one thinks what it would be that can liberate ones soul and spirit. Philosophers and great sages say that one requires nirvana to experience the freedom of the soul. I don’t know about that but am surely enjoying the freedom of the soul and feeling much lighter. Hope things go well and am successful in my new endeavours. The journey will be long and tough. Hope I pass the test of time and endurance. The taste of freedom is sweet, freedom from self and mundane things. Feel so good to be able to visualize things and work towards realizing those dreams and visions.

Tag-m Bag-m

2009-11-27T13:37:00.007+05:30

Long back i had attempted this tag. It had taken me a while to answer them and the bhaggam-bhag (hustle-bustle) of everyday life somehow didn't leave me with much time to put it up on my blog. Finally its here. Hope you will enjoy reading it as much as i enjoyed answering them. I tag Sid, Swatantra, Ashu, Amrit, Vivek, Ashwin, Simba, Makk, Chiku and whoever wants to take it up.

RULES: Respond and rework – answer these questions on your blog, replace one question that you dislike with a question of your own, and add one more question to the list. Then tag eight or ten other new set of people.

1. What is your current obsession? Attempts to rediscover my love for reading.

2. What are you wearing today? Long tee and pj

3. What’s for dinner? Its 2.40am. Too early to think about dinner.

4. What’s the last thing you bought? Scotch tape and four carton boxes

5. What are you listening to right now? Sound of the keyboard

6. What do you think about the person who tagged you? No one tagged me. I tagged myself so can I talk about self… (I had attempted it when no one had tagged me and the ones who tagged me later I have lost their count and forgotten who they were. Sorry, someday I shall write at length on each of you.)

7. If you could have a house totally paid for, fully furnished anywhere in the world, where would you like it to be? Kerala, Venice, my hometown

8. What are your must-have pieces for summer? Cool head

9. If you could go anywhere in the world for the next hour, where would you go? To a sea beach or a waterfall

10. Which language do you want to learn? Language of the faeries and infants.

11. What’s your favourite quote? Loves knows not its own depth until the hour of separation by Khalil Gibran

12. Who do you want to meet right now? You, my dear reader

13. What is your favourite colour? the colour of love and pain.

14. What is your favourite piece of clothing in your own closet? An olive green top

15. What is your dream job? To be my own boss

16. What’s your favourite magazine? Tehelka, Brunch

17. If you had $100 now, what would you spend it on? Bury it where it would multiply into zillions

18. What do you consider a fashion faux pas? Men in skirts.

19. Who according to you is the most over-rated style icon? Gauri Khan (wife of SRK)

20. What kind of haircut do you prefer? No haircut for me as I want my hair to grow like Rapenzal (am not sure of the spelling).

21. What are you going to do after this? Dream

22. Who is your favourite sport star? Steffi Graf, Leander Paes, Ronaldhino, Vishwanathan Anand

23. What are three cosmetic/makeup/perfume products that you can't live without? Kajal, lip gloss

24. What inspires you? Life, nature, children

25. Give us three styling tips that always work for you: smile, my charm, kajal

26. What do you do when you “have nothing to wear” (even though your closet’s packed)? Wear my skin and attitude.

27. Coffee or tea? Coffeeeeeeeeee

28. What do you do when you are feeling low or terribly depressed? Hug my pillow or listen to music.

29. What is your nickname? Ash, koyal, tweety, guriya… (the list is endless)

30. Which other blogs do you love visiting? I seem to be in love with all the blogs after all they are the fruits of leisure and keyboard labour.

31. Favorite Dessert/Sweet? Chocolates

32. Favorite Season? Spring

33. If I come to your house now, what would u cook for me? I shall cook up a story for you and garnish it with wit and humour. Is it tempting enough or shall I try my other secret recipe…

34. What is the right way to avoid people who purposefully hurt you? Give them a cold turkey instead of cold shoulder or cold vibes and a rose everyday in a true munnabhai-gandhian style.

35. What are you afraid of the most? Of losing my dear ones and another world-war.

My Questions: 36. If you could undo any one of your past actions or acts which would be that?

How to fall in love all over again?

2009-11-19T14:18:00.005+05:30

There was something i used to enjoy since my childhood but i don't seem to enjoy it anymore. I was a voracious reader once......but now i can hardly have the patience to read ten pages at one go... i just don't know how to get back to my old love i.e. reading. I have been doing so many things to get back to reading books but sadly failed. Its almost like trying to rekindle love and physical desire in a marriage that has gone cold. The very sight of books used to be magnetic but it is no longer the same. It just doesn't evoke the same response from me as before. The sight of a fat book is almost that of a hostel matron to me which chases me away. In libraries i look for size zero fiction books which i haven't found till now. I have turned into a book collector now from a true book lover that's what my uncle says. I keep raiding his library and keep stacking my self with books. I don't even allow my friends to sell off their old books and almost beg them to give or donate them to me. I am forever eager to adopt abandoned and orphan books (i know it sounds ironic when i say that i want to fall in love with them). Recently i collected about 30-40 books from my friend who was shifting. I was amazed how she could part with them. I am attached to books but am not justifying my love for them , am simply hoarding them.

Its not that i have stopped reading. In fact i have been reading much more than before but the kind of readings am doing is much different. Am buried day and night in research books, research papers, articles, journals, etc. I am doing more of academic reading than creative ones. It takes me ages to finish reading one single book. I am not exaggerating but it took me almost a year to finish "Notes from a Surgeon". With such a snail pace i wonder how many years it will take me to read "A Suitable Boy" by Vikram Seth (for long this book has been on my wish list. God knows when i will finally read it. Hope am able to do it before my unborn and unimagined great great grand kids do it. )

Sometimes i wonder if academics has killed my love for reading because even when am reading a simple fiction i tend to read it with a critical eye. I begin to deconstruct it and treat the characters as my specimen and apply Marxist. humanist, post-colonial or modernist theories. I tend to do it even unconsciously. It simply kills the simple pleasure of reading as am unable to separate the critic from me. The following quote begins to hold true as i wonder if academics or education has undone me. "I was born intelligent but education ruined me." I wonder if education has truly ruined. It surely has added knowledge, sense and reasoning power to my head but i wouldn't agree with the above quote completely. I just laid my hands on some book called "Toad in my Garden" by some unknown author. Hope it will begin a journey towards finding love again.

Memories

2009-11-11T12:37:00.004+05:30

Snatching seconds from minutes
And minutes from hours
Weaving a web of sieved time.
Immortalizing mortal moments
Like baptising pagans.

Deceased moments
Banished from the present
Take refuge in the past
Like runaway convicts.

Resurrected by nostalgia
Breathing ghosts
Slumber restlessly
Like the sentinel
Of a ravaged fort
In the deep recesses of our mind.

Belated Diwali Wishes!!

2009-10-19T16:55:00.002+05:30

Belated Diwali wishes to everybody.
May the brightness of this festival never fade
And the light of this festival keep your hearts aglow
With hopes, smiles and innumerable blessings
Though these wishes have come late
Yet they remain fresh as ever coz
They come straight from the heart.
Who said that?? Actually it was stored in the freezer untill this moment.

P.S.- Hi! Friends, there is some problem with my net connection so i will not be able to visit your blogs that often or reply to your comments promptly. But, plz do keep visiting and drop your comments here. As and when possible i will reply and visit your blogs. Will miss you all.

Dumbo ???

2009-10-03T00:17:00.003+05:30

They say wisdom comes with knowledge and today i became wise and felt enlightened when i discovered how dumb i was.

I found the following tag quite cool and different so am doing it. Found it on Guria's blog and I have added a few questions. The very first line The more [x]’s the “dumber” you are threw me off the chair as I kept wondering what it meant. I wondered what 'x' stood for whether it meant 'yes' or 'no' here. It took me an
entire day to discover the answer. I guess I should begin chewing 'mentos' (jo dimaag ki batti jala de) with all earnestness like the cows chewing cud.

The more [x]’s the “dumber” you are.

[ ] Gum has fallen out of your mouth when you were talking

[ ] Gum has fallen out of your mouth when you were NOT talking
[x] You have ran into a glass/screen door
[ ] You have jumped out of a moving vehicle
[x] You have thought of something funny while walking by yourself
[x] Laughed, then watched people give you weird looks

So far: 3

[x] You have run into a tree/bush.

[ ] You know that it IS possible to lick your elbow
[x] You have tried to lick your elbow… a few times
[ ] You never knew that the Alphabet and Twinkle Twinkle Little star have the same rhythm.
[x] You just tried to sing them.

So far: 6

[ ] You have tripped on your shoelace and fallen.
[ ] You have choked on your own spit .
[x] You have seen the Matrix and still don’t get it.
[ ] You’ve never seen the Matrix.
[ ] You type only with two fingers.

So far: 7

[x] You have accidentally caught something on fire
[ ] You tried to drink out of a straw, but it went into your nose/eyes.
[ ] You have caught yourself drooling.
[ ] You have fallen asleep in class and fell outta your chair
[ ] You stared hard at someone trying to figure whether the person was he or she

So far: 8

[ ] Sometimes you just stop thinking
[x] You are telling a story and forget what you were talking about
[ ] People often shake their heads and walk away from you
[ ] You are often told to use your “inside voice”.
[x] You use your fingers to do simple math

So far: 10

[ ] You have eaten a bug
[x] You are taking this test when you should be doing something more important
[x] You have put your clothes on backwards or inside out, and didn’t realize it
[x] You’ve looked all over for something and realized it was in your hand
[ ] You have ran around naked in your house.

So far: 13

[ ] You repost bulletins because you are scared that what they say will happen to you if you don’t.
[ ] You break a lot of things.
[ ] Your friends know not to use big words around you.
[ ] You tilt your head when you’re confused
[x] You have fallen out of your chair before
[ ] Mistook your teacher to be a student

So far: 14

[x] When you’re lying in bed, you try to find pictures in the texture of the ceiling or wall
[x] The word “ummmmm” is used many times a day.
[ ] Have you opened your mouth to say something but then you pretended as if you were yawning because you forgot what you wanted to say.

TOTAL: 16

I am (16/40)*100 = 40% DUMB !!!

(Ahh...i barely managed to pass the test, am sure my mom won't be dissapointed to see my score/percentage this time :b
So, what if am 40% dumb atleast am 60% smart. We should always look at things positively and remember the half glass full theory. So, let me party coz atleast 40% of my brain is crap, how dumb of me!!!)

Let me inflict the necessary torture and pleasure on my fellow blogmates by tagging them. I tag Makk, Sunil,
Rahul, Sourav, Shankar, Shilpaa Garg, Harry, Surya and Mishree. Others too are
free to take it up.
Welcome to the Dumbos Club!!!

P.S. Hi! friends, you may find this post a little irritating as far as the display and presentation is concerned so plz bear with me. I tried my best but am unable to edit it properly and there is some html problem about which am completely clueless.

If only she could smile...

2009-09-21T01:24:00.008+05:30

The word 'happiness' seems so elusive. Sometimes I wonder if it is a mere manifestation of a human mind and it isn’t such a big deal as we make out it to be. We keep thinking about it and do things that can make/ keep us happy our entire life. Even then we don’t seem to be really happy. Is it really all that tough being happy? We humans are such complex beings and it is hard to find or guess as to what can really make us happy. For quite sometime I had thought about writing a post on the reasons that made/make me smile in my day to day life and RSV’s post In Search of Happyness actually made me think about happiness and all.

Oh! Don’t worry am not going to give a long lecture or philosophize on the subject of happiness. I would rather enjoy this moment and let all the wise heads do all that thinking. I just wanna pen down 10 reasons (to some these reasons may sound very silly and kiddish but that’s how I am) that has kept me smiling for the last few days and am still savoring every bit of it.

Reasons (silly but important to me) to smile….

1. If only I could kill with a smile,

You would have been dead in a while.

Thank your soul that you cannot see my smiling face here….else you would not have been able to read this post further (How wicked of me). As I was humming this song ‘She could kill with a smile’ (I don’t know who the singer is). The above lines popped in my brain and I have been smiling since then not because I wanted to murder someone with my deadly smile but because I was able to rhyme properly. I am so poetically challenged. So, whenever am able to pen something even average, it gives me immense joy.

2. I completed 25 blog posts and my comments crossed 300 mark (it is not at all impressive but I had not expected it to reach even 100 so I have reasons to smile). I have about 45 bloggers stalking…err…following me. All these numbers are not something that one can boast about because they are far less than what my fellow blogger have. But, here I don’t want to compare these numbers because comparison is one of the main reasons of unhappiness so I shall desist myself from doing it.

3. My indirank/score took a giant (read Dinosaur) leap.

It jumped from 50 to 71. So, am grinning from ear to ear.

4. Am in love.

What more should I say. I am so obsessed with my blog these days. Even when am tired I would switch on my PC and keep staring at my blog for hours together and keep scrolling up and down the page without noticing the clock at the bottom of the screen (looks like as if I have got nothing else to do in this world). Now I can understand why all lovers can stare at their beloved’s face for hours and not notice the huge pimple.

5. I got new pets. They are unique.

Elephants are too big to handle so can’t keep them though it would be fun having one (actually nightmare). I love dogs but can’t afford to keep them though I am dying to have one. Not because of financial reasons but because I myself am gonna be homeless soon. So, I went in for a softer option. Got fishes instead. There is this feed my fish widget on my blog. I just love to feed them and see them scramble around whenever I drop food there. It is one of my favourite timepass. I keep watching them swim around. At times they cluster in some corner as if they were whispering or gossiping. I love all of them but orange ones are my favourite. Tell me which is your favourite one? Black, yellow, purple, green or orange. Thanks to that widget maker and to technology for making my tiresome day end with a smile.

6. Virtual bliss.

My blogo and virtual friends have become a part of me. This fact dawned on me when my net connection was having some problem. Earlier and pre-blogging days I used to think that how can one live a virtual life but for better or for worse, I seem to be living one now for sure, courtesy blogomania. Sometimes I wonder if I have begun to live an illusory life. On the web one does not know the true identity or the existence of the other person who is interacting with you but who cares at times. If they are happy when I accept or believe whatever story they dish out for me as long as it harms no one then why not. I feel happy when they nudge me for my attention or drop even a simple ‘Hi!’ on my comment box or keep up late to talk me out of my sadness or ease my tension no matter how busy they are.

7. I was blogtrotting and I chanced upon Vipenn Singh’s blog post The Smile Train. It scared me a bit. Read it and then you will know what I am talking about. The very first pic on the post reminded me of the documentary ‘Smile Pinki’ (the documentary is about a girl in a village who was ostracized by her village people because she was born with a cleft lip).

Source: www.oscar.com/nominations

I feel blessed that I am normal and healthy, that am able to enjoy the simple pleasures of life as simple as enjoying a cup of tea or walk freely in the rain or watch the beauty of nature unfold before me. There are many who cannot even enjoy this. How often we take things for granted in life and keep cribbing about the things we don’t have. Thanks to Vipenn for this realization. So, let me live this moment and pamper my sweet-tooth who knows ‘kal ho na ho’ and whether I will still be able to enjoy my cup of tea.

8. Bingo effect. It hardly costs to smile. That's the least that we can do if nothing else to make somebody happy.

So, am trying to spread smiles (not the deadly ones…wink…

wink..). Trust me, it can make someone’s day. A cheerful thank you too can lit up somebody’s dull day. I don’t know the effect of ‘thank you’ on the chaiwala bhaiya when I utter it to him, whenever he places the cup on my table quietly. I am sure that it doesn’t make him sad either if not happy.

9. Fresh and breezy mornings are a perfect start for any day. Almost for a week my landlord was away on a vacation. I could smell the difference. They were the best mornings I had lately because everyday he comes up to my floor as early as 5.30 in the morning and smoke that too just next to my window because his wife wouldn’t let him smoke at home. My window overlooks their side-terrace garden and he would sit around and fag there. It’s a beautiful garden but what a waste. It is so suffocating when ciggi filled air greets me early in the morning instead of fresh, sweet cool air. No matter how much I try to cover my nose to avoid the smell, it’s of no use. Its not that I don’t like cigarette smell. My friend and I often raid her brother’s pocket for cigarette packets just to smell (and not to smoke. I respect everybody’s freedom of choice. So, my advice to all young faggers is that fag at your own cost and die an untimely death leaving your young wife/husband with a second chance to rectify the mistake of her/his previous marriage i.e. marry someone better than you. I am OK with others fagging as long as they allow me to smell the pack). The smell of cigarette is heavenly but only that of an unlit one.

10. It’s been raining awards every where in the blogosphere and a few droplets managed to trickle in here. Thanks to Shilpaa Garg for conferring the Butterfly Award on me. So, now I have something to show off. Its time to spread the smile.

Finally I have got a chance to spread the smile and also acknowledge some of the blogs which I have always admired. As per the rules am supposed to nominate blogs for the awards. There are many blogs of which I am an ardent follower but won’t be nominating them because I want to wait till I can get an appropriate award for them. So, don’t feel sad especially the ones who aren’t named here. Here I come fluttering with smiles…

The nominees are:

P.S. Eight is the new seven in Shas land….(i guess i can cheat a bit for my friends...hi hi!)

Rules

a. Add the logo of the award to your blog
b. Add a link to the person(s) who awarded it to you
c. Nominate at least 7 other blogs
d. Add links to those blogs on your blog
e. Leave a message for your nominees on their blogs.

f. It is not there in the rules but i want to add the tag 10 Reasons to smile and i tag all the winners and all those who wish to attempt this tag. Can’t wait to know what makes you all smile.

Unbreakable

2009-09-15T15:05:00.003+05:30

You

And I,

Are now 'one'.

Our bodies clasped together,

And our souls enjoined forever.

Can anyone dare break us, try.

Only if you can find 'the other'.

P.S. This is my 25th post.What can be more rewarding than knowing that my blog rank/score has jumped from 50 to 71. Muaaahh......to all my blog friends and readers.

55 Fiction: The Promise

2009-09-09T12:50:00.022+05:30

Here's the second ~~lethal~~ errr.....little dose of the promised 55 Fiction.

Title: The Promise

He felt life slipping out of his own body as he saw his son dying. He wasn’t able to get money for operation.
Seeing Tarachand at the door, he was relived.

Now, it was his turn to keep his word.
He wiped a silent tear as he asked his only daughter to leave with Tarachand.

(w)Hu** aWards (w)hum*

2009-09-01T02:24:00.004+05:30

Welcome!! to the (w)Hu**** aWards Nite.
aawww...its 2.37 am so can't call it a night really though... (I wonder why most of the awards are given at night. Whats so dark about it and why it cannot be given in broad daylight? There's something that the award givers don't want us to see, no wonder why all the actors keep crying foul play.)

Shh...shhh...quiet pleezz........

Laydis and Gentaalmein Welcome to Awards nite!!
Pleezz be seated at your respective places. See we have taken pains to put your name tags on the chairs so pleezz sit on the designated chair rather than usurp somebody else's chair else there shall be a war of chairs (pleezz spare us the sight as we have witnessed enough of it in the Parliament).

Occassion : Time to thank and give away what i have received. I strictly follow the principle, "Do unto others as you want others to do unto you."

Infoormation about the aWard : This awaard is caalled Humane award. Humane as being characterized by kindness, mercy, or compassion; marked by an emphasis on humanistic values and concerns.

Speech : Thank you Amrit for giving me the Humane Award. It was a complete surprise for me as i got it from the most unexpected quarters of the blog world. Am overwhelmed with joy and am unable to express my feelings (where's my glycerine), my tears (real ones) are a witness to this night, it is the first award of my blog life and my first awaaard speech. I thank you momma, paapa, chinnu, binnu, tikli, pikli, tommy and jimmy my baaby daags without their daily dose of humour, support and torture this award would not have been possible. To blogspot/ blogger for hosting my blog and helping me spread the blog bug and i promise i shall continue my blogemotional attyachar.... mwaahh..muawaahh..sob...sob...muawaah...

The most important part of the nite. To pass on the award to the five most deserving blog candidates.

Announcement of the names of the lucky Winners : My hearty congratulations to all the winners and to those also whom i have not nominated (it was really difficult to stop at five). It is my pleasure to announce the names of the winners. So, laydis and gentaalmein please put your hands together for...and the winners are...

Paritosh
Pawan Maruvada
Mou
TJ Lubrano
Swatantra

Applause....applause....clap...clap...

The winners are requested to :
1. Accept and post the award on your blog.
2. Link to the person from whom you received it.
3. Pass the award to 5 other blogs that are worthy of this acknowledgment.
4. Let them know they’ve been chosen for this award.

Fagged....oOOOps!!

2009-08-27T01:34:00.014+05:30

Don't worry am not going to talk about fagging or even ask how many ciggies you fagged today. I don't wanna annoy Ramadoss.........nor talk about how right or wrong he was in trying to fag train or peg (patiala) train the adults of India by banning screen Gods from smoking or drinking on screen. After the last post i was so overwhelmed by the response that i thought of basking in its glory for a while and too exhausted to write an equally stimulating post. I don't want to dissapoint my readers so am taking some time off to recharge my brain for another post and in the meantime thought of untagging myself. I was waiting eagerly to get tagged and wondered ki mera tag kab aayega so waited till somebody thought of me to be ~~witty~~, ~~naughty~~, worthy enough to tag. Thanks Shilpa for tagging me.

Sometime back i read in the newspaper that Kaminey movie has popularised the "F" word and it has become quite a rage among the DU students. I thought whats new about it, almost every DUite's conversation is generously punctuated with the famous and infamous F*** word. On reading further i realised that it was not the F*** word but the letter F. In the movie one of the characters played by Shahid Kapoor lisped and he would say F instead of S. For example, he would say aweSome as aweFome.

I read quite a few tags and there were many whose names started with the same initial as mine ie.S. It is mandatory for all those who wish to attempt the tag to answer the questions starting with their initial and there isn't much that one can do about it. I felt kinda bored and thought of spicing it up by replacing S with F (like Shahid but only the first letter of each word rather than all the Ss). I cannot dare to violate the rule though stretch it a bit. Ahh! all the rule keepers don't worry all the answers would begin with my initial. If my answers would seem gibberish and you want to figure out what is my actual answer then just replace F with S. For example, Shikha would appear as Fhikha. So, have fun reading the answers.

Tag Rules: Copy the text to your own note, erase my answers, enter yours, and tag your friends. Use the first letter of your name to answer each of the following questions. They have to be real… nothing made up. If the person before you had the same first initial, you must use different answers. You cannot use any word twice and you can’t use your name for the boy/girl name question. Here goes my first tag:

1. What is your name: Fhas

2. A four Letter Word: Fack

3. A boy’s Name: Fhakespeare ("Whats in a name")

4. A girl’s Name: Fhilpa Fhetty

5. An occupation: Fales Man

6. A color: Fea blue (Couldn't think of a colour. So, i cheated a bit by checking Shilpa's answer but i didn't really cheat....see..see...oops...fee...fee.)

7. Something you wear: Falwar Kurta, farong (at times the way i wear my wrap-around at home it almost looks like a sarong)

8. A food: Fhawarma (Its Al-Bake's special. I had travelled all the way to New Friend's Colony to have a bite coz my friend had ftrooongly recommended and since then i have become a fan of it. )

9. Something found in the bathroom: Foap

10. A place: Fri lanka

11. A reason for being late: was Fleeping

12. Something you shout: Fhut up

13. A movie title: Fatte pe Fatta (I had fun writing this answer as it actually made some sense as i replaced S with F)

14. Something you drink: Frite (Fab clear hai.........reaaaaaally lets grab another Mcburger and forget gym.........lolzzzz)

15. A musical group: Fpice Girls

16. An animal: Floath Bear

17. A Street name: Fafdurjung Road

18. A type of car: Fuzuki, Fantro, Fwift.....i can go on (I actually had to take the help of google to get the last name coz i could remember all the features of the car but couldn't recall the name. What's wrong with my memory!!!)

19. A song title: Faat famundar paar mai tere peeche peeche aagai (from Tridev)

20. A verb: Fnore

P.F. Please do not get offended by the answers. They are written in pure jest. If it does then am sorry. Hope you have fun reading the answers as much as i had in writing them. I want to tag Bailey, Lakshmi Rajan, Surya, Ashu, Kaddu and all those who want to attempt it.

55 Fiction Time: Reported Speech

2009-08-13T12:53:00.004+05:30

Time for 55 Fiction on my blog. Sounds like its time for chai. Equating it with a cutting chai coz it is short, refreshing and fun to read and i feel the need to have it after a regular interval. This new fiction style is spreading faster than swine flu as i can find atleast one post devoted to it on every blog.
Let me tell you a bit about 55 fiction, though you would fine the description about it on every blog (but am putting it down here more to remind myself than the readers. I have become so forgetful these days). It is a form of micro-fiction which has a maximum word limit of 55 words. I don't remember whose i had read first so am in a bit of a fix. The ones i enjoyed and which inspired me to try this genre are..... the list is long but the few (others i can't remember or find the link as i had stumbled upon them randomly) that i would like to mention are Paritosh's, Sid-O-Scope's and Mou's.
I was wondering if i was ever gonna write one. Let me admit that am the latest victim of this virus. Initially i had thought that i would not be able to pull it off but i ended up writing three. Well! don't worry i shall not torture you all in one go, it will be in small single doses. Enough of bak bak now, here's my first attempt.............

She beamed with joy as she held the medical report. It confirmed that she was pregnant.
She couldn’t wait to tell Nihal the good news and imagined how he would react on hearing. They had waited for seven long years.
Just then a nurse rushed towards her, “we’re sorry ma’m, the report had got exchanged.”

Nasamajh

2009-08-09T22:46:00.010+05:30

Kya gila

Kya shikwa karna

Jinhe kabi wafa karna na aya
Unse kya shikayat karna

Wafa ki chaadar odh ke wo aaye
Sapne hazaar dikhaye
Jab waqt ayaa nibhane ka
To saath tod ke gaye
Aur saugaat me wo chaadar
Hume de gaye
Jinhe pyaar hi samajh na ayaa
Unse kya shikayat karna.

Na samjhon ki basti bas gai hai yahan
Tute hue dilon ka makbara ban gaya hai yahan
Chaadar un makbaron pe chadhate ho
Roz wafa ki dua karte ho
Par wafa ki jubaan hi na samajh paye
Toh jike ye jindagi kya paye

Taaron ke jubaan boli
Par insaano ki bhasa hi na samjhi
Jinhe ye duniya hi samajh na aaya
Unse kya shikayat karna.

Yieepie! Am finally EighTEEeeen

2009-08-03T17:46:00.003+05:30

I am feeling so happy, finally I have touched 18. I am unable to suppress my joy and that girlish giggle. I am feeling as if I have come off age finally but at the same time I still feel like a gawking teenager. There’s something happening in my stomach as am writing this post. It’s a funny feeling, wish I could explain that (just imagine the time when you had turned eighteen or if you are still waiting then imagine or wait till then, recall the mixture of feelings that you had gone through then). Well, am not talking about my age but am talking about my eighteenth blog post. But the feeling isn't any different from that of a teenager on the threshold of adulthood. I can’t believe that I am eighteen posts old now. The time I realized that this was going to be my eighteenth post, I kept wondering what to write on and make it a memorable one. There were so many other things that I wanted to write on but I simply held myself back and restricted those ideas from creeping out of the draft.

My blogging journey so far has been good. In this short span of time I have gone through a myriad of emotions as I wrote and waited for comments and reactions. Initially I was so apprehensive about talking about my inner thoughts, feelings and trivial things on a public domain but now it comes naturally though at times I still get hiccups. I wanted to feel new and make my blog feel different so I changed the blog template. I had a hard time choosing one as I could find none which could freak me out. So, I settled for this till I can find a better one. It was almost like getting a new birthday dress for my bloggie.

Am sure all this must be sounding so weird. Well, that’s the nature of love. It turns one weird and to others it seems so absurd. Now am getting ready to shoot new posts soon and waiting for the 25th one. Hope you too, enjoy reading though I may bore you at times with my weird blogolove tales.
You are welcome to critique and suggest topics that i should i write on. Am thankful to my blog friends and readers, whose presence has made my stay in this blogosphere so amazing.

Rented Woes

2009-07-27T23:24:00.003+05:30

I simply hate to deal with my landlord’s greedy wife. All she can think of is money, money and money. It appears as if that’s the only thing in this world which matters to her. The relationship of a landlord with his/her tenant is no less than the famous bitter-sweet relationship of a saas-bahu. God only knows when this saga will end.

Why life is so...

2009-07-23T21:51:00.009+05:30

There are times when I have wondered that why life has been so unfair to me. It is not that I have not worked hard for it or simply whiled away my time. I have worked really hard but even then success seems to elude me. At times success seems like the rain in Delhi. When it’s raining cats and dogs in some places, it’s pretty much dry in other parts of the country thirsting for every single drop of water (these days I have become so desperate for rain that I couldn’t think of a better comparison). Why is it like that with human lives, too? I have noticed at times (or it seems) that some people get things without much labour for which another person would have to slog like anything, be it getting through an entrance or an admission in an institution or a job or anything else. And there are times when you realize that the most undeserving people or the ones who least want it, get it. You must have heard some say, when you would ask them, “how did you get/do it?” and they would reply, “I just gave the exam coz my dad wanted me to (meaning that s/he never wanted it, it was simply forced on s/he)”, “I just don’t know how it happened, I had not even prepared for the exam, I had not even answered the whole paper still I cleared it. Even am surprised”, “It was luck I guess”, etc. Answers like these foxes me as I wonder why the hell I burned my night oil, night after night and still not get it or what went wrong or the effort that I had put in was probably not good enough.

Maybe success comes hard for some.

Better luck next time. After all what’s the fun in getting things without a good fight.

Cooked and roasted

2009-07-18T22:27:00.005+05:30

My room has become an oven these days as it is on the top most floor and courtesy Delhi heat. There is a terrace garden next to my room but surprisingly it hasn’t helped in cooling my room in anyway. Cooler too, is of no use in fact it makes my room even more humid. It looks as if all the things that were supposed to beat the heat has conspired against me and joined hands with the enemy making my stay over here unbearable.

It was horrible today though it was not one of the worst days. I don’t know whether it was humidity or something else which made me feel so weak and exhausted. Even after pouring gallons of water down my throat i was thirsty. Drinking bottles after bottles of icy water gave me a strange headache. Worse enough there was a power cut. Thankfully it returned after an hour but that one hour power break was enough to bathe me in sweat. By then it was time for me to leave for work reluctantly I stepped out of the house. Well this wasn’t the end of torture. Outside the sun was in its full glory and ready to bake anybody who dared to stand under its blazing pinion without an umbrella. The twenty minute wait to get an auto-rickshaw was torturous and agonizing as I felt I was getting roasted live. As i stood on the roadside getting charred I felt like the chicken in tandoor. Well the only difference was that the chicken are dead, naked and stood/hung upside down which i wasn't so i felt every bit of the sun burning my skin. The irritating autowallas made me feel worse as they were on the lookout to fleece someone. Luckily after a long wait one agreed to go by the meter. On the way to work I wondered how Kawarias dared to walk barefoot on tar roads and how people drove in Delhi especially the ones on bike in the heat and still braved the draconian Delhi traffic. What it must be like where there is power-cut for more than ten hours. Probably people adjust and adapt themselves to such adverse situations.

Well then instead of complaining I should practice sleeping in an oven so that Delhi heat would seem like Shimla breeze to me.

Well well…I do sleep in an oven, don’t I. Just waiting for the day when Delhi heat would seem like Shimla breeze…….a far-fetched imagination or is it possible?